So in we walked to said "Suite", which let me just say is a word that should be used loosely. I personally don't consider a small twin bed and decorations that look like they're from the early 90's a "suite". But that's neither here nor there.
About 60 seconds after walking into the room, something shifted in me.
There was just something about being in that room and looking at this little bed where I would be PUSHING A BABY OUT OF MY YOU KNOW WHAT that seemed to hit me and the reality of the situation sunk in. I mean, obviously I know we're having a baby. And obviously this baby has to come out somehow. But just standing there, imagining this actually happening sometime in the next 7 weeks kind of freaked me out. Like, ummm... no. nope. nevermind. don't wanna do this! Peace out everyone.
And then, when I get overwhelmed, I cry of course. Happy, angry, sad: You can usually expect tears.
So then that sweet, sweet husband of mine pulled me close and told me it was okay to be scared and it was all going to be okay and he would be right there next to me the whole time.
Yeah. Right there next to me on that tiny, tiny mental-institution-looking bed. (I don't know why I have such an issue with this bed! Like, what was I expecting? A luxurious King Size Tempur-Pedic??)
Anyway, I took a few deep breaths and we joined the other couples out in the hallway, whom I'm sure were thinking I was the crazy, hormonal pregnant lady. But really now, how did everyone look so calm??
We finished the tour and then left the hospital; me in a much different state than when entering.
I just need to remember that I am not the first woman to have a baby. This is done all over the world, every single day. Our bodies were made for this. I can do this! I will do this. I have to do this. And then, this one (maybe two?) day of discomfort will be over and the reward we get will be priceless. We'll finally get to meet our sweet, sweet babe and bring him home with us forever. I think that's a pretty good reward, don't you?
Deep breaths. I got this.