Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Last Chance To Be My Friend

The other morning I had to head downtown for work, so instead of taking the bus (because I just wasn't in the mood for those public transportation shenanigans), I requested an UberPool. Which, basically means I'm sharing the ride with someone else who's heading in the same general direction as I am. $7 anywhere in San Francisco. I'll take it.

I hopped in the car and off we went to pick up my Uber Mate, Dave. Dave got in the back seat with me and we said our, "Hello's." Then Dave began chatting me up, asking me where I was going, what I do, how I like my job, yadda yadda. I didn't get the creeper vibe, so I was happy to chat. (Me? Happy to chat? I know, crazy. ;)

Dave shared with me that he works for a start up in the city, creating an app called imoji. He moved here from Canada just 6 months ago and has been working nonstop.

As we're getting closer to my destination, Dave says, "Would it be weird if I asked you for your number?"

So then I say, "Yeah, probably. I'm engaged." 

Then Dave says, "Oh.... well, uh, I meant just as friends."

So then I said (while recalling what Harry told Sally about men and women never really being friends because someone always wants sex), "Yeah, but, how often do adult men and women really just become friends?"

So then Dave laughed nervously and said, "I have a girlfriend."

And I asked, "Does she live here?"

Dave: "No, she lives in Canada."

"So then, Dave," I asked, "don't you think it would be a little odd if your girlfriend called you one day and said, 'Hey honey, I met this really cool guy in a cab this morning, and we exchanged numbers and we're gonna hang out this weekend! But don't worry, we're just friends.'?"

This got Dave really going with the laughter.

So then Dave said, "Yeah, I guess I see your point. It's just so hard to meet friends these days."

And that's when I had to pause and think a little. Because you see, Dave had a good point. I 100% know what it's like to feel lonely in a new city, when all you want to do is make some friends, but you just don't know how or where. Especially when your work friends don't even like you.

So then I felt a little bad.

But not bad enough to give him my number.

I just said, "I hear ya, Dave. It is hard making friends as adults. Where do you meet them? Bars? Libraries? The grocery store? People can be awfully cliquey sometimes. I get it."

So then I thought it'd be a good idea to recommend some fun things to do around the city that he might be able to meet people!

I told him about this place called Off The Grid that's right near his house (I know where he lives, because we picked him up in the Uber, remember?). It's on Sundays where a whole bunch of food trucks gather and all the San Franciscans come to soak up the sun, drink lots of beer, and eat lots of food. Everyone just sits there and socializes. It would be perfect for Dave.

Look. That could be Dave with his new best friends!

Anyway, Dave liked that idea and sounded super excited. It was settled. He would go there.

As we near my destination, and I start to gather my things, Dave whips out his phone and says, "Last chance to be my friend!"

And well, with one foot out the door, and the Uber driver staring at me in the rearview mirror, I caved and said, "Ooooh, okay."

What can I say? I'm a softie for the loners.

I have yet to hear from my new friend Dave, but perhaps the next time I have a fun social gathering to go to, I can send out a friendly invite.

Or, perhaps Dave really doesn't have an interest in being my friend at all and I'll never hear from him again.


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Tuesday, March 3, 2015

4 Month Wedding Meltdown

Yeah, yeah, I know it's been a million years since I blogged, blah blah blah. Let's skip the formalities and just pretend that I've been blogging all along.


Today begins the 4 month wedding countdown.

And most days I'm like, "Say Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?" As in, how the hell has this time gone by so fast?!

Other days I'm like, "Psssshhhhhhhh." As in, I have SO much time left and there is NO need to rush those final details.... like buying WEDDING SHOES.

I decided to write down a list of every last little thing that needs to be done before the big day, and I came up with 24 things. 24!

And then I felt a major rush of anxiety, and I ran away from the list.


This past Sunday, I ate this:

And oh my lawd, it was fantastic. Every last gooey hunk of cheese. Amazing.

And then I weighed myself the next day and realized that I have gained 4 pounds since purchasing my wedding dress.

I could tell you that I don't give two shizzles about those 4 pounds, but then I would be telling you a big fat lie.

So since Sunday, as in yesterday and today, I have been using My Fitness Pal to a T, and following a somewhat Atkinsy diet (a.k.a. high protein, low carb), as well as dragged my arse to the gym both days.

And since Sunday, I have not been visiting the restroom like one should on a daily basis, if you know what I mean. (you do know what I mean, don't you?)

So then I Googled, and it appears a high protein/low carb diet can do that to you.

So there's that.

My wedding dress is coming next month, people!

(I don't have a Vera Wang dress, but you get the point.)

Bring on the prunes! (TMI? Yes. But when do I not overshare?)


I mailed out our wedding invitations last Thursday, and as of today, a friend in COLORADO has received it, but my MOTHER in SAN DIEGO has not. I was also informed that my best friend slash Maid of Honor (located in Los Angeles) did not receive hers either. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Southern California is a whole lot closer to San Francisco than Colorado...

So now I'm having anxiety that the Post Office man has lost half of my invites and now no one will receive those pain-staking pieces of paper that I personally licked and placed stamps on and hand wrote their names in semi-nice handwriting!

(deep breath...deeeeep breath)

I swore to myself I would not become a bridezilla.

Just get me through these next 4 months so I can relish the feel of sand between my toes (because I probably still won't have wedding shoes), and can hold the hands of my beautiful man and hopefully recite vows (that still need to be written), and then party the night away with my bestest friends and closest family (or at least those who got an invitation).

And I shall leave you with this picture of my nephew, because it is basically the perfect depiction of how I feel right now.



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