Monday, October 27, 2014

And then I got all kinds of feisty.

Saturday was quite the day, if I do say so myself (so prepare yourself for this post, it's a long one).

It all began with a little wedding dress shopping extravaganza with my posse in tow (plus Mo & Marion, not featured here but are equally as important ;).


Upon arrival, we were quickly told that champagne was NOT allowed as it was against the landlord's rules. And to that I said, "Poo, Poo," because perhaps if they had let me get a little buzzed I would have been more inclined to purchase a dress.


But alas, there were no keepers at the first location...

...Which is why I can show you some of these pictures. ;)


You guys. When I put on the very first dress, it really hit me that, oh my gosh, I'm going to be a bride! And I was kind of hoping I'd feel that way; You know, some sort of real jolt to this whole wedding experience. And it was simply the best having my close friends and family there - oohing and ahhing over each dress (some more than others ;). And it's true what they say: Be open to all possibilities, because something you may have thought you wouldn't like can very well be something you do indeed love!

Oh, and remember when I swore up and down that there was no way in hell I'd spend more than $1000 on ONE dress for ONE day??

Well.........

Then we went to the second place.

The moment we walked in, I could tell just how upscale it was (and how SO out of my price range it was, but what the hell, let's just pretend): Exclusive boutique located only in San Francisco. Imported lace from France. Hand sewn. Um yeah...."expensive" just wafted in the air.

We were the only ones there, given their undivided attention. I described the setting: Beach wedding on Kauai....simple....pretty....etc. etc.

And then.... With the curtain closed, she helped me into the first dress, and the moment I looked at myself in the mirror, I was done for. She opened the curtain and revealed the dress to my faithful onlookers, and I could see it in their eyes - they fell in love too.

This was it! This was the one! I totally had "THE MOMENT" that people speak of but you wonder if it's just a myth. My search was done - I found it! I could feel myself get a little teary eyed looking at this beauty and picturing myself standing on the beach, my hands in Verner's, in front of all our loved ones, exchanging our vows...

And then she told me the price, and it was like that reverse record player sound happened and I snapped to!

I'm sorry, come again??

$4300 friends. $4300 effing dollars. And then my heart broke.

But just so you know - the $4300 INCLUDES all alterations and fitting costs, so I mean, it's basically a deal. No? Not at all? I'm crazy for even considering? Yeah okay....

The reason I am NOT going to post a picture of this one is because A) I could possibly find it online by someone who is re-selling theirs that they bought and B) I just might really go over the edge and do something I regret. Maybe. We'll see. Probably not. But maybe.

But like I told my friends & fam - - - - "My daughter would be CRAZY not to want to wear this dress at her wedding." <-----and THAT should tell you just how amazing it was.

///

Anyway - I started this post with something way different in mind, but then went on a wedding dress tirade.

The REAL reason I wanted to blog was because of what happened later that night.

So, if you're still reading (Hi, Mom), then please, allow me:

That night, a few friends, The Dizzle, and I went out and hit da bars. We started with some prickly pear margaritas from Tacolicious. And they were delicious. But not nutritious.


Then there was some wine....and beer.....and perhaps a kamikaze shot. <------just to set the scene for you.

Then we went to another bar. And if you offered me $1 Million Dollars to tell you the name of the bar, I would still not be able to. <-----and that should set the scene as well.

But here's what went down.

I ordered a beer from the bar.

The bartender poured me a beer.

I grabbed the beer.

Then HOMEBOY to my left, who was highly intoxicated (yes, even more than me), GRABBED my beer and took a ginormous gulp!

So I grabbed my beer back and said, "Hey!" While also kind of "thumping" him on the chest with my arm.

(Now, now, I'm not usually the violent type, but when you grab AND drink my fresh cold beer, all bets are off. But take note I said "thump" because it was not a punch, just a little "whack of the arm", if you will.)

And THEN, he said..........wait for it.......

"Is that all you got, STUPID?"

(Good one, guy. Good one.)

So then *I*, with not a bat of the eye, whip around and point my stubby finger in his face, and in the angriest and scariest voice I could muster I say,

"YOU BETTER LEAVE BEFORE YOU FIND OUT, MOTHERFUCKER!!"

(Pause for laughter, because hahahahahaha I still can't say that line without laughing heartily.)

I mean, come on. Picture me, this 5'4" Asian chick staring up at this 6 foot really really drunk white guy trying to be all tough like.


So then get this.

The drunk guy turns and leaves (because obviously I was super scary and he had to run for his life), and then his FRIEND comes up to me, hands me a $20 bill, and says, "Here, take this. I'm really sorry," and leaves.

And then like 8 million seconds later, The Dizzle comes up behind me, all tough like and ready to defend my honor, and says, "What'd he say to you???"

Don't worry, Boo, I handled it. And the next round's on me!!

Moral of the story? Sometimes standing up for yourself and protecting your beer from the drunks of the world will make you $20 richer. But you've got to be extra stern and scary about it. And don't forget the finger point.

The End.

xoxo




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17 comments:

  1. $20 towards the dress of your dreams?!

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  2. Hahaha I had to read this to my husband. We are both cracking up. You are awesome!

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    1. hahaa! Thank you! So glad my "ferocity" didn't scare you away. ;)

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  3. Probably one of my favourite posts of yours ever hahaha!

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    1. hahaha me too! oh how I WISH that scene was captured on video, woman!

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  4. Oookkk, What if 4,000 women donated $1 to your dream dress?? Oh snap, what if this was like a 'dream wedding dress club' where we all donate $1 to each others dream dress...then we all get dream dresses and we won't have to spend the money for it....I feel like this is a genius idea...crazy but genius!!

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    1. Oh my god, you're a genius. That is simply brilliant. Now if only we can get 3,998 other women to get on board with this idea!!!

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    2. Genius idea but the logistics are a bit shaky ;) haha good luck girl!!!

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  5. can't make this shizz up! Mish, you're my fave :)

    xo,
    Sarai

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    1. Aww, you're my fave too, friend! (Even though I just now realized you spell your name "Sarai" and not "Sureye" like your blog name.... :/ )

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  6. Ha!! I love it!

    Oh the dress. I was in your shoes exactly. I had a strict budget for it, tried on one out my price range, and fell in love and never wanted to take it off. I decided to cut in other areas so I could get the dress, and I'm so glad I did. I don't regret splurging one bit. The store owner also worked with me and gave me a discount. You might be able to bargain a little?

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    1. That's not a bad idea! And especially with her being a privately owned boutique who sets her own prices, it's possible she'll budge! Why oh whyyyy does this industry insist on charging an arm and a leg?! Oh....because they can. #wompwomp

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  7. Oh my. That bar story is HILARIOUS!!!

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  8. Good for you for coming up with such a quick response! I love the feistiness! I'm always one of those people who gets flustered in the moment and later that night before going to bed all of a sudden I have 20 sassy replies I could've said instead.

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  9. Hmmmmm. You didn't mention the plant?

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  10. that is awesome!!! good for you!! and you look so beautiful in your dresses!! wedding dress shopping is so tough!!

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