There is a method to my madness.
However take note, when that “method” is not shared with
your significant other, then all they will see is the madness.
I have had a recent lesson learned regarding this.
Allow me to explain.
Sentences such as the following:
“The ice cube trays shouldn’t be filled up so high.”
Or
“The dish sponge should be squeezed out when you’re done
using it.”
Or
“We should turn the fan off during dinner.” (My personal favorite.)
Can all be construed as crazy, neurotic, nitpicky, and did I
mention crazy to the person you’re saying them to, especially if you say them in
a slightly elevated tone paired with a “Honey!” inserted before each sentence.
The reason I know this is because it was recently brought to
my attention during our 8-hour car ride to San Diego yesterday.
The Dizzle kindly mentioned (and I really do mean kindly), “I
don’t know if it’s because Aunt Flo is in town, but I feel like you’ve been
nitpicky a lot recently.”
Now, I’m sure the average woman in her period-induced crazy
fog would be quick to gasp and say, “How DARE you say my womanhood has anything
to do with my emotions!!! I am not CRAZY!!!!!” when really he said nothing of
the sort, but somehow we just hear it that way because well, sometimes we can
be crazy.
But, friends, I am the first to say that I am no stranger to
Crazy Connie that graces our household once a month, so I was in no way
offended by his hypothesis.
And after he brought up the examples of said nitpickiness, I
calmly explained my reasoning behind each one.
Allow me:
1. When the ice cube trays are filled so high to the brim,
the person who cracks the tray to get an ice cube out will then find themselves
and the floor covered in broken ice shards to which they then quickly melt and
leave little puddles on you and said kitchen floor. When they are filled to the
proper height of tray, they break nicely for whomever wants a cube with no
water wasted.
2. When the dish sponge doesn’t get wrung out, it then sits
there in water to be then filled with mildew and bacteria to which it makes the
sponge smell something foul very quickly. To which THEN said sponge must be
thrown away when it could have lasted much longer. By ringing out the sponge,
we can assure a much longer sponge life. Which, ultimately, if you think about
it, saves money.
3. Well, obviously when the fan is blowing on us as we’re
trying to enjoy a hot meal, it will then rapidly cool down the meal to a
lukewarm status and really now, no one wants a lukewarm plate of spaghetti.
Obviously.
So you see, I said to my dear future husband, I am merely
suggesting all of these practices for the betterment of our household. I do not
mean to nitpick. I can see how that can be very annoying. But I would like to
think I’m a logical person and when I see a way to do something that could
benefit both of us, I feel the need to share.
He then said to me that if I had just taken the time to EXPLAIN
the reason behind my “suggestions,” then he would also be in the loop on how it
could benefit us (as he cannot read my mind) and would be more inclined to
follow said suggestion instead of thinking I was a hormonal nitpicking crazy
person.
(Whoa, whoa, whoa….you can’t read my mind?!)
So I said. Huh. Great point, future husband. I can see now
why that would probably be a better solution.
Soooo just to make sure we were on the same page I said,
“So
you’re saying, if I were to EXPLAIN to you that when you squeeze the toothpaste
from the MIDDLE of the tube, making it deformed and dilapidated to which it
makes me literally cringe on the inside every time I have to fix the tube, and
that I think you should squeeze it from the BOTTOM of the tube to make it
easier for ALL toothpaste users to get said paste out in a concise, quick, and
clean way, then you won’t be annoyed because I gave you my logical reasoning
behind it?”
Then he replied,
“Well, I mean, in all honesty, the
toothpaste thing doesn’t make sense to me because you can just squeeze wherever
and out comes the paste. THEN, when it gets low, you can slide it up from the
bottom of the tube. Easy as that.”
Oooh fiancé, I think this marriage thing is going to be
quite fun with you. ;)
xoxo,
Mish




It drives me CRAZY when my bf doesn't wring out the sponge! Which is most of the time...aaagh I'm feeling ragey just thinking about it. Maybe it's a guy thing, hahah.
ReplyDeletehaah perhaps - but APPARENTLY if you just explain your reasoning in a normal, calm way, they'll get it! ;) #ihavemysuspicions
DeleteThis made me think of this.... http://www.buzzfeed.com/kevinmcshane/weird-things-all-couples-fight-about#sqxqcd
ReplyDeletewhich I saw the other day and was hilarious :D
hahah - hilarious
DeleteHonestly this should be like a kids book.
ReplyDeleteI've secretly always wanted to write a kids book. :P
DeleteYou do know you can microwave a sponge to sanitize it...right?
ReplyDeleteI am trying this immediately.
DeleteMy husband and I have resorted to separate toothpaste tubes for that exact reason! Keeps the sanity. (also, definitely microwave the sponge)
ReplyDeleteGenius idea! I don't know why I haven't thought of this already... love it! ;)
DeleteI'm guilty of the sponge thing, but the fan on during dinner really cracked me up :)
ReplyDelete- aly
I'm slowly learning just how weird my little "rules" are :/ haha
DeleteI just cried while laughing through that entire post. Maybe I am just hormonal, but good laawwwddd woman you can make a girl laugh!
ReplyDeleteI am 100% adding "good laawwwwdddd" to my sentences whenever I can now. hahah love it!
DeleteExplanations for an easy going person sound really nice, but in my situation I get walked out on in the middle of my explanation. People who want to be in charge don't like to be told what to do no matter how nicely you say it. And we definitely have different toothpaste tubes.
ReplyDeleteOkay fine, in your case, I see your point ;)
DeleteIt was good to see you mama!!!
I feel as though EVERY crazy thing I think/argue has just been validated. I agree with you on all three of those points for exactly the same reasons. K drives me nuts because he leaves a soaked sponge in the sink after he's done with the dishes. UGH!!!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more! I'm definitely guilty of the sponge incident! You definitely made my day with this one! :)
ReplyDeleteI understood your madness!! No explanation needed here :) that is probably because I have had the same conversations with my boyfriend. How come they can't read our minds?
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