There is a method to my madness.
However take note, when that “method” is not shared with your significant other, then all they will see is the madness.
I have had a recent lesson learned regarding this.
Allow me to explain.
Sentences such as the following:
“The ice cube trays shouldn’t be filled up so high.”
“The dish sponge should be squeezed out when you’re done using it.”
“We should turn the fan off during dinner.” (My personal favorite.)
Can all be construed as crazy, neurotic, nitpicky, and did I mention crazy to the person you’re saying them to, especially if you say them in a slightly elevated tone paired with a “Honey!” inserted before each sentence.
The reason I know this is because it was recently brought to my attention during our 8-hour car ride to San Diego yesterday.
The Dizzle kindly mentioned (and I really do mean kindly), “I don’t know if it’s because Aunt Flo is in town, but I feel like you’ve been nitpicky a lot recently.”
Now, I’m sure the average woman in her period-induced crazy fog would be quick to gasp and say, “How DARE you say my womanhood has anything to do with my emotions!!! I am not CRAZY!!!!!” when really he said nothing of the sort, but somehow we just hear it that way because well, sometimes we can be crazy.
But, friends, I am the first to say that I am no stranger to Crazy Connie that graces our household once a month, so I was in no way offended by his hypothesis.
And after he brought up the examples of said nitpickiness, I calmly explained my reasoning behind each one.
1. When the ice cube trays are filled so high to the brim, the person who cracks the tray to get an ice cube out will then find themselves and the floor covered in broken ice shards to which they then quickly melt and leave little puddles on you and said kitchen floor. When they are filled to the proper height of tray, they break nicely for whomever wants a cube with no water wasted.
2. When the dish sponge doesn’t get wrung out, it then sits there in water to be then filled with mildew and bacteria to which it makes the sponge smell something foul very quickly. To which THEN said sponge must be thrown away when it could have lasted much longer. By ringing out the sponge, we can assure a much longer sponge life. Which, ultimately, if you think about it, saves money.
3. Well, obviously when the fan is blowing on us as we’re trying to enjoy a hot meal, it will then rapidly cool down the meal to a lukewarm status and really now, no one wants a lukewarm plate of spaghetti. Obviously.
So you see, I said to my dear future husband, I am merely suggesting all of these practices for the betterment of our household. I do not mean to nitpick. I can see how that can be very annoying. But I would like to think I’m a logical person and when I see a way to do something that could benefit both of us, I feel the need to share.
He then said to me that if I had just taken the time to EXPLAIN the reason behind my “suggestions,” then he would also be in the loop on how it could benefit us (as he cannot read my mind) and would be more inclined to follow said suggestion instead of thinking I was a hormonal nitpicking crazy person.
(Whoa, whoa, whoa….you can’t read my mind?!)
So I said. Huh. Great point, future husband. I can see now why that would probably be a better solution.
Soooo just to make sure we were on the same page I said,
“So you’re saying, if I were to EXPLAIN to you that when you squeeze the toothpaste from the MIDDLE of the tube, making it deformed and dilapidated to which it makes me literally cringe on the inside every time I have to fix the tube, and that I think you should squeeze it from the BOTTOM of the tube to make it easier for ALL toothpaste users to get said paste out in a concise, quick, and clean way, then you won’t be annoyed because I gave you my logical reasoning behind it?”
Then he replied,
“Well, I mean, in all honesty, the toothpaste thing doesn’t make sense to me because you can just squeeze wherever and out comes the paste. THEN, when it gets low, you can slide it up from the bottom of the tube. Easy as that.”
Oooh fiancé, I think this marriage thing is going to be quite fun with you. ;)