Wednesday, September 17, 2014

It's Like We Were 18 Again...

....except not really because I didn't drink at 18 and neither did she.

Let me rewind a little though, and this will all make sense.

As you know (or don't), The Dizzle and I drove down to Southern California last weekend to see my mom and her new house that she got with my grandparents (her mom and dad).

Here's a photo circa 2012 for reference:

Good ol' Gram Gram in all her quilt-making glory. (Just kidding, I don't call her Gram Gram. But she does make a mean quilt.)


Here are THREE things you should know about my grandparents:

1. They are devout Seventh Day Adventists.
2. They have not, will not, do not, don't want, won't ever, don't even think about it, drink alcohol.
3. Alcohol in the house (even for family gatherings) is highly frowned upon.

Now here is ONE thing you should know about my mother:

1. I once found a tiny airplane size bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream in her purse and when I asked her why she had that she replied, "Just in case I have coffee."

Well, duh.

So as we were lounging at the house on the first night, just chit chattin' away, I asked my mom if she had any wine. Because, I mean, it was Thursday night, so why wouldn't I want a glass of wine?

She gave me a look that said, "Trust me, I'd love to have a glass of wine with you right now, but you know full well that there isn't any in the house because you-know-who lives here."

She also happened to mention, when the grandparents were out of earshot (and trust me, that's not that far these days) that her sister-in-law came over the previous weekend and brought a bottle of wine as a little housewarming gift, but the only way they could drink it was when my grandparents were gone. At church. So drink it they did. The whole bottle.

Side note: Here is my grandmother, Phyllis. Let me just remind you that she NATURALLY BIRTHED EIGHT babies. That's right, EIGHT. Here she is when she had the TRIPLETS. She was telling me that in order to feed them, she'd have to prop 2 on her sides while holding another:

The fact that this woman never drank a drop of alcohol bewilders me greatly.

Moving on.

It finally came time for the grandparents to retreat to their "quarters." (Which, you know how it is with the elders, it was like 7:30pm).

I looked to my Mom and we hopped in the car and drove straight to the grocery store.

I personally just wanted a bottle of wine. But then my Mom noticed that if you buy FOUR, then you get a discount. So, naturally we wanted to save money. THEN my Mom shared that she makes a mean Mojito. And I couldn't drive all the way from San Francisco to not try her mojito!

And before we knew it, here was our shopping cart:

As we got home, I asked her how she was going to keep this in the kitchen without G&G finding out.

That's when she showed me her secret hiding spot. Her closet. In it was a fold-out little nook thing and she told me that she is officially deeming it her "liquor cabinet."

Good for you, Mom. Good. For. You.

So anyway, we drank some yummy mojitos and stashed the rest, without a stitch of evidence left behind!

I kept saying it was like we were in high school, sneaking alcohol when the parents were away. But truth be told, we both never drank in high school, so I guess.....better later than never?


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  1. Oh my goodness, this is EXACTLY what I needed to read on a Thursday afternoon! Haha. Golden! I wish I had a secret nook in my wardrobe where I could hide alcohol....then again, my family like booze with breakfast. I don't think I have a problem ;)

  2. you were hiding alcohol with your mom, so cool

  3. Hahahahahahaha... oh the SDA in me giggles. My G&G are devoted too (hello... pastor's granddaughter here) so of course they are exactly like yours. Meanwhile....... well my dad doesn't drink nor does my mum (i think occasionally on well... occasions) but this girl here loves her beer... mmm beer. I love that your mum has a secret stash. #attagirl

    1. Can we have a beer together one day? Pretty please?

  4. LOL my Grandma is super Adventist too and she is against the booze too, but I'll still have wine when she's around. Sometimes she tells me she has trouble sleeping and I'm like you just need a glass of wine that would put you to sleep and she tells me that wine is poison and kills brain cells. Then I tell her that I'm willing to sacrifice a few braincells for my own happiness.

    1. ha! I bet my grandparents would say the same thing. I told my Grandpa that wine was the devil's juice.... I don't think he appreciated my joke. :/ haha

  5. This is soooo cute!!! You and your mom are my heroes! You should call her house some clever Speakeasy name and have a code for when you want to drink! And I think you should share your mom's mojito recipe with the rest of us, mmmmkay?!

    1. haha! Good idea!

      Mom - if you're reading this (which, don't worry, I'm sure she will soon): Post your mojito recipe for us all to see! Deal? DEAL! ;)

  6. Your mom is cool! You guys are cool... lol

  7. Oh, a grocery store that sells liquor!!!! You know how we roll down South - liquor only in liquor stores. My city just passed Sunday alcohol sales two years ago!!!!!

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