I wish I blogged.

Me: "I wish I blogged."

Verner: "Talk about wedding planning."

Me: ....

Verner: "Talk about Dinner."

Me: ....

Verner: "Talk about how much you love me and how you just want to talk about it all the time."

Oookkkayyy, buddy. Slow your role.

///

I just got done reading about 5 people's blog posts for the day, and you know what I thought? Kudos. Kudos to them for mustering the time and energy it takes to keep a 5 day/week blogging regime. For those of you that don't blog, I gotta tell ya, it's not that easy to keep up with. After 3 1/2 years now of this blog, I can attest to that and I'm noticing that it's really starting to slow down over in these parts.

And part of me is sad.

Because for the last 3 1/2 years, this blog has been a big part of my life. It's been a part of my identity, in a way. Friends, family, and complete strangers have come to know me as "the girl that blogs a lot of random and sometimes too personal but often times funny shit" ...or something like that. And now, for various reasons, I just don't as much.

And I miss it.

I miss the ease of it. The free flowing nature of my stories. The excitement I had for it. The feeling of just not being able to wait to get to a computer so I could share a story or picture.

So I'm wondering what changed.

Has blogging as a whole just dwindled down? As the readers have quieted, so have the writers behind the blogs?

But even so, I started this blog with not a single person reading. And it was during those times, in my opinion, that were some of the most fun. I could write about anything and everything with zero worries of what someone would think on the other end of it. I could use whatever language I wanted, tell whatever story I wanted, talk about whomever I wanted, and express whatever opinion I had.

So is that it?

Is it that I know there are real people reading this now? Not just strangers, but friends, family... Maybe I feel like I have to censor my words and thoughts. Not make them so public anymore for fear of offending or hurting someone's feelings or embarrassing anyone, etc. (Sheesh, what does it say about this blog when those are the examples I give?)

I'm not saying that IS the reason for my lack of blogging, but it's just a thought...true or not.

Maybe I got tired of the "competition"? The constant checking of stats and page views and comparison to other bloggers out there. It did get a little crazy there for a while, didn't it? The 8 million Group Giveaways that you saw every month just to get another "GFC Follower". Kind of ridic. But, I mean, yeah, I totally did it too. And yeah, it was exciting to see those numbers grow. But then they kind of stopped growing organically. And then I kind of got tired of giving money away for people to "like" me.

Anyway, I guess what I'm feeling is this: I'm not quite ready to throw in the towel for Mish Lovin' Life. I keep remembering that this is such a wonderful tool to look back on some unforgettable (or, forgettable were it not for this blog) and amazing life memories. In this here blog, I can read back on my FIRST DATE with Verner. And now, 3 years later, I'm engaged to the man! That's pretty awesome, isn't it? So for that reason alone, I want to keep jotting down these life occurrences. I want to have a place to remember these things that mean the most to me, and no one else really. I've said it before and I'll say it again, when we're all 75 and wrinkly, no one's going to care about these silly little blogs of ours, but us.

Me. And perhaps my future kids.

So with that - I will make an effort. Maybe that effort is once a week. Once a month. Who knows. But goddamnit, I will try!

You're welcome, kids.

xoxo