My future mother-in-law and I went shopping this past weekend, and after lunch, she asked if I wanted to peruse the Bloomingdales wedding department. So, I said, "Sure, why not?" Well, turns out they didn't have a wedding department, but they had a lot of fun, sparkly dresses.
The very happy and, dare I say, flamboyant, salesman came up to me and asked, with a quick peek at my left finger, "Ooohh, are you getting married??"
So I said, "Yep!"
Then he said, "Are you here looking for dresses for your bridesmaids?"
And with a shrug of my shoulders and a wave of my hand I said, "Eh, no. It's still 10 months away. I've got plenty of time."
This is when he laughed heartily. Like....a little too heartily.
And then he said, "Ooooh my GAWD, I just LOVE how calm you are!!"
So I smiled awkwardly... then began to slowly walk away.
Okay, so here's the thing.
I know that I booked our venue after only 2 weeks of being engaged. And to some, that was VERY quick. But I think the reason I did it so quickly was so that I could just chill out, enjoy the engagement, and not really worry about much else. Because believe you me, before this place was booked, I was having some major stress pains on trying to figure it out and Mishi did not like that. (I'm sounding very "solo" right now as if Verner did nothing to help, but trust me, he was there every step of the way, he just wasn't crazy psycho about it like I was for a hot minute.)
So anyway, now that it's done, I'm kind of like, okay cool. Dust my hands off, I'm basically done! Yahoooo! Now I can sit back, relax, and enjoy the engagement ride!
But oooohhhh wait. Almost every day, I get questions like:
"Well have you found your dress yet? You know it takes like 6-9 months to have it ready because of all the alterations."
"Have you picked a theme???"
"What's your color palette?"
"What song did you pick for your first dance!?!?!??!?!"
Uhhh....
A) We're getting married on the BEACH in KAUAI. I don't think many flowers will be necessary when you're basically in paradise. So no, Mr. Florist, I do NOT want flower pieces and bows on each and every chair for my guests.
B) I have no problem admitting just how NON-crafty and creative I can be. So no, I will not be having a Southern Backyard BBQ theme complete with mason jars filled home homemade toffee (though that is very lovely, I just don't have the talent, or patience, to do it). And since when did themes become mandatory for every life event?
C) As far as my dress is concerned: I want something simple and not going to cost an arm and a leg, because let's be real here, I'm never going to wear it again and my daughter in 30 years will not want to either. As far as my bridesmaid's dresses are concerned: I gave them a color and said, "Have at it!" Because if you think about it, each of my friends have different personalities, which is what I love about them, so why would I want them all wearing the same thing?
It's not that I don't care, but it's like....I kinda don't care? Does that make me a horrible bride? What I DO care about is marrying my best friend on the beach. Everything else is secondary...tertiary...non-existent. There will be good food, good music, good drinks, good people, good dancing. And to me, that's all that matters. Because, "Remember the beautiful floral arrangements that were placed on the ends of each aisle?" said NO ONE.
The very happy and, dare I say, flamboyant, salesman came up to me and asked, with a quick peek at my left finger, "Ooohh, are you getting married??"
So I said, "Yep!"
Then he said, "Are you here looking for dresses for your bridesmaids?"
And with a shrug of my shoulders and a wave of my hand I said, "Eh, no. It's still 10 months away. I've got plenty of time."
This is when he laughed heartily. Like....a little too heartily.
And then he said, "Ooooh my GAWD, I just LOVE how calm you are!!"
So I smiled awkwardly... then began to slowly walk away.
Okay, so here's the thing.
I know that I booked our venue after only 2 weeks of being engaged. And to some, that was VERY quick. But I think the reason I did it so quickly was so that I could just chill out, enjoy the engagement, and not really worry about much else. Because believe you me, before this place was booked, I was having some major stress pains on trying to figure it out and Mishi did not like that. (I'm sounding very "solo" right now as if Verner did nothing to help, but trust me, he was there every step of the way, he just wasn't crazy psycho about it like I was for a hot minute.)
So anyway, now that it's done, I'm kind of like, okay cool. Dust my hands off, I'm basically done! Yahoooo! Now I can sit back, relax, and enjoy the engagement ride!
But oooohhhh wait. Almost every day, I get questions like:
"Well have you found your dress yet? You know it takes like 6-9 months to have it ready because of all the alterations."
"Have you picked a theme???"
"What's your color palette?"
"What song did you pick for your first dance!?!?!??!?!"
Uhhh....
A) We're getting married on the BEACH in KAUAI. I don't think many flowers will be necessary when you're basically in paradise. So no, Mr. Florist, I do NOT want flower pieces and bows on each and every chair for my guests.
B) I have no problem admitting just how NON-crafty and creative I can be. So no, I will not be having a Southern Backyard BBQ theme complete with mason jars filled home homemade toffee (though that is very lovely, I just don't have the talent, or patience, to do it). And since when did themes become mandatory for every life event?
C) As far as my dress is concerned: I want something simple and not going to cost an arm and a leg, because let's be real here, I'm never going to wear it again and my daughter in 30 years will not want to either. As far as my bridesmaid's dresses are concerned: I gave them a color and said, "Have at it!" Because if you think about it, each of my friends have different personalities, which is what I love about them, so why would I want them all wearing the same thing?
It's not that I don't care, but it's like....I kinda don't care? Does that make me a horrible bride? What I DO care about is marrying my best friend on the beach. Everything else is secondary...tertiary...non-existent. There will be good food, good music, good drinks, good people, good dancing. And to me, that's all that matters. Because, "Remember the beautiful floral arrangements that were placed on the ends of each aisle?" said NO ONE.
Over and Out,
Mish
I love this! I think this is a lot of reason Kyle and I didn't have a big wedding. We just wanted to get married, we wanted no stress and we only had 2 days to get married. So Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel it was. ;) Of course when you are from Vegas like we are it doesn't seem quite as tacky as it sounds haha.
ReplyDeleteI think that's awesome! Do they give you free poker chips like they do in the movies???? I've kind of always wanted to do it for that...because Im weird... and Asian... and love gambling.
DeleteI picked out like 6 dresses to try one, tried on three and the fourth was "the one". It fit. Off the rack. no alterations...and I'm short. It worked well :) We planned and got married in three months. You've got plenty of time to sit back and relax!!
ReplyDelete3 months!! That's pretty amazing. Hats off to you! :) I WISH mine was in 3 months! 10 months seems foooreeevverrrr away.
DeleteSO true. We each picked the things we cared most about (me - photography & dress, him - booze) and we spent time making sure those were perfect. Everything else was basically pointless. I can't tell you what we ate or what my flowers were anymore...
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, thanks for making this left-aligned - it's so much easier to read than when you center your text. Second, I can totally relate to your attitude during wedding planning. Sadly I must admit that I got a bit more stressed and uptight as the process drew on and our wedding date drew nearer, but I love how you're keeping the most paramount thing in mind - it's about the marriage, not the wedding. I kept getting questions about what my "theme" was too and my response was a quizzical, "um do you mean the colours?". I don't understand why people feel that every wedding needs to have a theme - it's not a holiday party. For us, decor wasn't the focus (I'm also the exact opposite of a DIYer). We made sure that our outfits, food, music, photography, and booze were on point because those were the things that mattered to us most.
ReplyDeleteI was the same way and the only thing I regret is not having a great photographer. My husband insisted on having his brother take our pictures and they are horrible. So my advice is my sure you have someone taking your pictures that you will love. And the rest of it really does not matter
ReplyDeleteOh no, that sucks! I definitely agree on the photographer thing. My friend Stephanie (who actually does it for a living) will be there! Unless she gets preggers and can't fly to Kauai because she'll be like days from having a baby or something. :P Which I GUESS I can understand... ;)
DeleteEh. I didn't care. Shit just came together. Whatever. Dresses can take a while to alter, as a general FYI though.
ReplyDeleteLike hoooooow long are we talkin' here? My mom is coming up the end of October so we can look at wedding dresses. And the wedding is in July. That's good enough, yeah? Yes? Whoo?
DeleteFor me it wasn't the alterations that took a long time - it was the ordering of the dress, usually about 6 months, then you need about 2 months for different fittings. So you'll be good :)
DeleteI love your attitude about it all! Wish I could have taken some notes from you before I got married! If I had a do over, as great and wonderful as my wedding was, I would have totally eloped!
ReplyDeleteahhh eloping sounds magical right about now. too bad we already put the non-refundable $2000 deposit down and sent out all the save the dates. haha
DeleteI'm dying over your awkward picture people moments!
ReplyDeleteAwesome attitude to have-just let things be and when your day comes, live it up how you want! It will be the greatest day of your life (flowers on chairs or not)! Haha ;)
It will be too hot there for a fancy wedding dress anyway! Sooo many details will be taken care of or won't matter. Perfect kind of wedding for a non bridezilla.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing people remember is the music and the food, anyway. And your bridesmaids will forever remember that you didn't make them wear a dress that they hate and spent too much money on. So, no, no reason to stress. As for the wedding dress, I bought a simple one that ended up needing no alterations until I hit the gym too hard and lost weight :-) Then I needed it taken in at the bust but that was an easy fix and only took them about two weeks.
ReplyDeleteI almost want to just purchase a white dress online and be done with it. But I've heard horror stories about doing that... :/
DeleteI have friends that have had good experiences ordering their dresses offline. Just make sure its a company that lets you return it if it doesn't look/fit right! I would suggest going and trying some on ( at some place fancy for free champagne!) to see which style and cut you like, then you can get online and find what your looking for for cheap! I was super chill about my dress, too. I tried on like two and picked on of them that I liked. I really love(d) my dress BUT looking back I wish I would have tried on a few different styles to see what was the most flattering on me. Oh! Also, the only thing I regret about our wedding was not splurging on a photographer! We went really cheap (because geesh, 'real' photographers are in the housands!) and got a newbie photographer, and I really regret that now, because we don't have many nice pics from the day. So, I suggest getting a photographer you know is good!
DeleteI have a 4 month engagement (10 more days til I'm married!). I ordered my dress and paid a small rush fee and I received it TEN days later. No joke. I was shocked! In my mind, you've got plenty of time!
ReplyDeleteI'm not at the planning a wedding stage (although I'm probably closer than I've ever been) but your attitude it how I hope mine will be. I want a day that I, and my nearest and dearest, enjoy. Stressing over flower arrangements just seems like too much hassle.
ReplyDeleteI love it. This is so my personality too. I've talked to many friends about their dream weddings, and I'm over here like Ummm...I want to have a ton of fun at my wedding. That's pretty much the extent of my "dream wedding" plans. I really don't care what time of year or what venue or what color vests the guys should wear. That's just not really important to me.
ReplyDeleteI might be singing another tune when I actually get engaged, but I highly doubt it. Everyone makes it seem like planning a wedding has to be this huge, stressful thing. But I say, plan it, enjoy it, and don't worry about it! There's no rule book that says "All women should turn into bridezillas by the wedding day".
xo Denise
its never too early to start planning, and atlleast now you have peace of mind
ReplyDeleteI love that you are so chill about it. That's amazing. There will be enough stress once you get closer to the day just trying to sort details out, so why stress now?! Also, I think since you are having a wedding 'away' & a beach wedding that takes a lot of the pressure off! Sometimes, if you don't have a nice space (like a beach & resort!) you kind of HAVE to spend tons of time on decorations & creating a space, because four blank walls aren't very cozy or inviting. And since your wedding is in Hawaii I don't think anyone will be thinking, "Where are her chalk board signs and color coded mason jars?" They'll just be enjoying Hawaii! PS. I love all your GIFs! Ive tried for the life of me to find ones that fit my posts and I never can. Where do you get them all?!
ReplyDeleteYou sound almost exactly like I was. I actually got turned down by a florist because I just wanted the basics - no fancy centerpieces or anything - and she literally told me "I need to keep that date open for a bride who will spend $5K on her flowers." Which I thought was ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteI definitely got more stressed out as the date approached, but in that last month I was still getting comments like "It's really next month? You're so calm!" And I'd think "yeah, appearances are deceiving."
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