Monday, June 30, 2014

It's Customary.

I found a Groupon the other week to get eyelash extensions at this place called ModVellum and I thought it'd be fun to do right before our trip to Mexico - spruce things up a bit, you know? (Lord knows I need all the help I can get in the eyelash department.) Anyway, the Groupon deal included the initial appointment + a refill appointment, all for $125. A pretty decent deal (especially because I also had a $25 off code and only paid $100 flat for the whole thing).

I was instructed in two different emails to show up 15 minutes early to my appointment, which was at 11:25am. Being the prompt individual that I am, I walked in at 11:05 to an empty reception area. I sat down and waited about 10 minutes before a lady finally came in and said she'd be with me shortly.

"Shortly" turned into 40 minutes.

When she finally came back, 20 minutes past my appointment time, the first thing she said to me (without any introductions):

"I see you have a Groupon here. So, just so you know, gratuity is about 15-25% on the ORIGINAL price. So (whips out calculator), you're getting the lashes plus a refill, that's going to be $375 worth. But the Groupon was only $125. So make sure you tip on the original."

I was literally silent for a good 20 seconds with my lashless eyes wide open, I'm sure. I was so taken aback by her.... tackiness? She barely said two words to me, it was already 20 minutes past my appointment time, we hadn't even gotten to the services yet, and she's telling me what I need to tip?

So I finally said, "Is that mandatory?"

Nodding her head she said, "Yes, it's customary. Plus, the owners aren't making any money on these Groupon Deals. It's basically just a marketing tool to get people in the door. They're actually losing money on these deals."

Seriously, why was she telling me this? We all know it was HER that would be keeping the tip. Tips are not taken by the owners. This woman was really leaving a bad taste in my mouth. The more I thought about it, the more irritated I was getting with her.

After I finally mumbled something about having to tip on my credit card because I didn't have cash with me, we finally went back to the room and I was trying to just let it go and relax.

No big deal.

But then, as I'm laying there on the table, she says, "I'm going to place this primer on your eyelashes. NORMALLY this costs $25, but since you're going on vacation near water, I'm going to just throw this in and I won't charge you."

Uh...okay? (I highly doubt a few little swipe-swipes of 'primer' costs $25.)

About 40 minutes later, she was done. (Which if you've ever gotten your lashes done before, that's super quick. It should be about an hour and a half, or more, if they're doing it properly because they should be applying a lash to each individual lash of your own. It seemed like she was just sticking them on at the base of my eye, not really attaching to anything.)


As she finished and took off the tape holding my lower lashes down, she asks, "Does it burn?"

And I said, "Nooo."

Then she replied with a shocked sound in her voice, "Really?? Are you sure it doesn't burn?"

Me: "Um...yeah?"

Her: "Wow, I've been doing this for a year and you're the first person to say it doesn't burn!"

FIRST OF ALL: Why are you telling me this?
SECOND OF ALL: That's not really information you should want to be broadcasting.
THIRD OF ALL: If I HAD said it burned, would you then try to upsell me on some anti-burning cream??

By this point I just wanted to get out of there.

I ended up giving her $30 for a tip. I REALLY wanted to give her zero. But it was just me and her in this vacant office and I just couldn't not give her anything. Especially because I have to see her again in a few weeks for my follow-up refill appointment (that I may or may not attend). And other than those really awkward comments, she was being nice enough. So..... I don't know man.

Oh, you want to see my lashes?

They're okay. I've had better. MUCH better. We'll see how long they last. If she did them properly (which I doubt she did), they should last 3-4 weeks. I'll be happy if they last two.

Anyway, because I'm a dumb dumb, it wasn't until AFTER this experience that I thought to check out the Yelp reviews for this place, and turns out, I'm not alone in this poor customer service experience! I don't know why I didn't think to check before. (face palm)

Oh well. $100 Lesson learned. And at least I have semi-okay looking longer lashes. Plus, I'm going to Mexico on Tuesday, sooooooo I should probably stop complaining.

Anyway, if you're in the San Francisco area, I recommend that you do not get a Groupon to ModVellum for your eyelashes. And if you do, remember that it's CUSTOMARY to tip 15-25% on the ORIGINAL, G-D'it!


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Thursday, June 26, 2014

I know it's only June....

But I think I know what The Dizzle and I should dress as for Halloween.


Speaking of these two, if any of you have an extra ticket to their On The Run concert
and can't seem to find a single person to give it to,
you know where to find me.


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Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Blogging Stamina and 5 other life happenings.

Our Grillz. Aka. Teeth whitening trays. Because we're hard like that.
And this picture has nothing to do with this post.

I think I've lost my stamina for blogging. Or at least for blogging on the daily. I remember when I first began this blog, I couldn't wait to get to work in the morning (because isn't the best time to blog when you're supposed to be working?), when the office was empty and quiet, and I could write up a blog post about everything and anything, but mostly nothing, and that was okay. I never really felt like I had a lack for words.

Now? Maybe it's just laziness. Or maybe I just feel like I don't have a whole lot to say? I mean, when I wrote that post before about routines, I wasn't kidding. Most days, these days, are reeeeeaaalllyyy similar. Breakfast, gym, lunch, work, dinner, Netflix. Not that there's anything to complain about that, but how many times do you want to read about it? I'm guessing the first time was one too many.

I don't think I'm alone here. I think it's safe to say that the blogging generation I was born into has been slacking off as a whole, no? I've noticed several blogs I used to read on the regular have somewhat abandoned their posts and now stick to just living life and documenting it via Instagram? I wonder what happened? Was it just a fad? For those of you that still blog on the daily, what keeps you motivated to write?

I definitely like the documentation aspect. I often find myself reading old posts and being highly entertained by past memories I otherwise would have forgotten. So there's that. But again, I just feel like there's not a whoooolllee lot to document right now.

Okay, fine. There's got to be something.

Let's see.....

Okay, here it is: 5 current "Happenings":

1. My new baby nephew is due to arrive this Friday in San Diego. There is a strong chance this babe will be named "MAGNUS". Yes...."Magnus". And I often wonder what a child with the name of Magnus will be called. Mag? Maggie? Magget? M? With a name like "Magnus," you can't help but wonder these things.

2. Speaking of babies - my thoughts on them have drastically changed in the last year. I've heard people say that the age of 27 for females is a life-changer. I didn't believe it at first, but I do now. Ask me a year ago if I wanted babies and I'd make a face and say, "Not for a looooonnnggggggggg Long Long Long Long time." 

Ask me today if I want babies? And I literally get this physical feeling. This yearning almost. It's the oddest thing. I see babies crying and it doesn't annoy me anymore. The Dizzle and I have been having many conversations about babies. What we'll name them....what they'll look we want to raise them... Again, it's the oddest thing. But, it's also..... exciting. Like, hey yeah, this whole life thing? Kind of cool. Especially when you have someone pretty dang amazing to do it with. Like, yeah, why wouldn't I want to have your babies?

3. Mexico is one week from today. And I'm 99.99999% certain an engagement will NOT be happening on said Mexico trip. The reason I know this? Because I asked, that's why. I did not want to become the girl that for every little activity, or walk on the beach, or sunset dinner would think to herself, "Is this it?! Is he going to propose right now?!" And then when it didn't happen, possibly get a little bummed out.

So I asked the Dizzle, "Can you just tell me right now that I shouldn't get my hopes up in Mexico?"

And he replied, "You should proooobbbaaably not get your hopes up for Mexico." 

Then I said, "When you use the word 'probably', I still think there's a chance because I'm crazy like that."

Then he said, "Okay, then definitely do not get your hopes up."

And there you have it.

And now I will have a wonderful week in Mexico with my love, celebrating 3 wonderful years together, and not have that crazy, cuckoo mind of mine go off on wild tangents.

I'm such a problem solver, aren't I?

4. For the last 2 months, I've been working out about 3-4 times a week. And when I say working out, I mean pumping iron. There has been little to no cardio, really. (I've also been making better eating choices and have cut out mid-week drinking.) In the last 2 months I've brought my body fat percent from 20% to 17% and gone from being able to do 1 push up to 31 push ups in a row. I'm now at the same weight I was during my marathon training, but my body looks different. Stronger.

I gotta tell ya - this way of working out, being able to see this progress and physically feeling stronger, is so much more enjoyable than being able to run 26 miles. I mean, is it cool to be able to say you can run that far? Sure. Yeah. But is it actually fun running that far? Um, no. I just can't seem to hop on the crazy train of long-distance running.

5. Remember when I said I had 5 different things to say? I lied. There were 4.


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Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Once Upon A Time...

Once upon a time, there was a little boy by the name of Verner.
(Some may know him as V Dizzle)

Little Verner had a crazy head of wonderfully curly hair.

But one day, as Little Verner got older, something happened.

The Fresh Prince of Bel Air happened, that's what.

Little Verner begged and begged to get his hair cut like that,
but his mother refused to chop off those beautiful curls of his!

So Little Verner took matters into his own hands.

Every morning, before school,
Little V would sneak into the bathroom,
wet his head,
and use his little hands to literally SMASH the sides and top of his head
so it would resemble that of his idol, Mr. Fresh Prince.

And the boy succeeded.

Because, my friends, where there's a WILL, there's a way.
(Pun very much intended.)


And now that little boy has grown into a man.
A man with a bald head.
And a beautiful one, at that.

And no matter what your hair (or lack thereof) looks like, Boo,
I'll still love you and think you're the most beautiful human alive.

Even if it looks like that of an Asian boy band member.

The End.

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Monday, June 16, 2014

a whole lot about a whole lot.

This weekend was equal parts fun and equal parts....not so fun.
The fun began Friday night with prickly pear margaritas.

The not so fun began about 2 hours after a 12:00am Taco Bell run.

Let's just say The Dizzle won't be eating Taco Bell again anytime soon.


Saturday morning, we drove up to Sacramento (with a total of 5 stops for The Dizz to.....get some air) and spent a solid 6 hours clearing out Verner's grandma's house because she has since moved in to an assisted living situation and now no longer needs an entire house full of things. And if you're wondering how much stuff one can accumulate in 82 years of living, I will tell you:

- 3 stuffed-to-the-brim truck loads full of Goodwill donations
- 2 ginormous "1-800-Got-Junk?" trucks filled with.....well, about 200 bags of junk
- 1 neighbor named NACHO who came over with his family and cleared out many large pieces of furniture because he wanted it for his own home and to also, most likely, sell on eBay and pocket the cash. But hey, you do you, Nacho, you do you.

It was a lot of work, but minus the massive hangover, it was also kind of fun. Well maybe "fun" is the wrong word, but I wasn't not enjoying myself, you know? Verner and I kept getting side-tracked going through all of her memories and "treasures." It was kind of amazing (and personal?) to see someone's life built up in a home over the years and to think that at the end of the day....what's all this stuff for, anyway?

I remember when Verner and I sold everything we had to travel, and at the beginning, it was really hard for me to let go of all that stuff. The memories, the stories, the meaning I had attached to things....but now? I honestly can't remember any of it. I don't miss a thing. I felt like a weight was lifted and it was so refreshing to know that everything I owned fit in one suitcase.

But it's funny how us, as humans, like to just keep on accumulating stuff. We buy these homes to fill it with stuff. We pay for storage units just so we can fill it with more stuff that we then forget about for years and years, but god forbid we get rid of it, because it's our stuff! I mean, don't get me wrong, it's human nature. The minute we got our apartment, the stuff started slowly coming back. We left his grandma's place with a box (okay fine, two boxes) full of stuff. Stuff that we probably, most definitely, don't really need, but on the other hand it was like, well I can't just throw this perfectly good Mortar & Pestle set away!


Anyway, after a day at Verner's cousin's pool and before we left Sacramento, we made sure to visit with Verner's grandma in her new assisted living home, which I'm really glad we did. I've come to realize that I like talking to people that are at least 75 years old. The older the better, I say, because they will talk about anything and everything. Some of it makes sense, most of it doesn't, but you just let them keep on talking, because, well, they can damnit! And if you really listen to what they have to say, it's actually quite interesting. Old people, man. Sometimes I feel like we're just a hop, skip, and a blink away from being them.

For example, before we said goodbye, we tried to give her a little lesson on how to use her new iPad. Oh man. 80 year olds and iPads? Crazy. I asked Verner if one day our grandkids would try to show us something technologically advanced and if it would boggle our minds just as much. He said most definitely. Like one day, in the year 2072, our grandkids will be trying to explain how we have to implant some chip inside our forearm to make a phone call to Mars or something equally mind blowing. You just wait. It's going to happen.

Anyhoozle, this post was a whole lot about nothing? a whole lot. But I suppose if I'm going to mention it all, I will have to admit that on our way home, we went to Chili's. Did you hear that? Chili's. We don't have those chain-type restaurants in San Francisco, so we were like, hey why not?

Well I'll TELL you why not.

Verner spent all. night. long. with his head in the toilet because of those dang chicken fajitas.

Poor fella. He's had quite the rough 48 hours.

And on that note, I should probably wrap things up and tend to the sick.

Hope your weekend was great!


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Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Oooooohh boy.

Last night I met a friend of a friend of a friend.

As I reached my hand out to shake his, 
he grabbed it and said,

"A kiss for your hand....But you deserve one everywhere else."

Then he kissed my hand.

And I was all:

And then Verner, standing right next to me, was all:

And then the guy was all:

The End.


Monday, June 9, 2014

Let the countdown begin!

Ladies and gentlemen....I have some exciting news.

We are leaving for Mexico in 3 weeks. 3 weeks!
Can you believe I've been not-so-patiently waiting for this trip for 6 months? 6 months!

And alas, in just 3 short weeks, we'll be frolicking the beaches of San Jose del Cabo, celebrating our 3-year anniversary, and I. Can't. Wait.

Can you believe it's been a whole YEAR since we've even walked on International lands?!
It's basically a sin, if you ask me.

In the midst of my Mexcitement (see what I did there?), I had to do a little shopping for said trip.

I went to Tobi and got myself a romper, fringekini (I think I just made that word up), and cover-up.

I never thought I could pull the romper look off, and perhaps I still can't, but I really, really liked this one.....even if my boobs threaten to pop out any time I lift my arms above my waistline.
We'll make it work.

(btw, you get 50% off EVERYTHING on your first order, so yeah, get on that cuteness.)

Anyway, we'll be there for a whole week and we've been making a list of things we'd love to do while there.

Got any suggestions? (Take note, it will be July and hotter than hell, so I hear.)

Here are some activities we've been contemplating:

1. Tequila tasting (is it odd that the first thing on the list involves alcohol?, I think not.)
2. Day trip to Cabo San Lucas to visit Lovers Cove
3. Catamaran ride
4. Verner suggested Deep Sea Fishing, but I was like, huh? Since when have you been into fishing? But alright then... add deep sea fishing to the list!
5. Lots of pool time. LOOOOTTTSSS of it.
6. ATV riding
7. ???

Also, are we just supposed to take a taxi ride from the airport? (because I heard it was insanely expensive)
And is this place like most other countries where you bargain for everything?
Also, are you not supposed to drink the water?

Oooooh do tell!


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Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Baby name convo with my mother.

I was on the phone with my mom today and, 
unlike many phone conversations, future grandbabies came up.

Today's topic: Baby Names 

My mom asks me, "What about Ty?"

I crinkled my nose a bit and said, "Mm... it's Okaaayyy... sounds a little too..... White boy?"

Then, without skipping a beat, and what I'm pretty sure was 100% seriousness, 
she replies, "Not if it's short for 'Tyrone.'"

And then I died laughing. 

Because yes, Mom, I'm going to name my child TYRONE.

Ohhhh, my sweet dear mother, how you make my heart full of joy. :)


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Monday, June 2, 2014

It's a medical mystery.

My Saturday started out just like any other.
I got up, had breakfast, then got ready for work.
I wore my striped Maxi from Banana Republic and my new denim jacket.
Off to the boutique I went.

After work, The Dizzle picked me up and we went over to his Mom's for our little "Dutch Gathering."
There were tulips and croquettes and Heinekens galore.
Steve and Maya (Verner's sister) came over with the two little munchkins and grand times were had.

I crawled around with the kids, playing hide and seek for a bit, but other than that,
nothing out of the ordinary.

After dinner, Verner and I decided it was high time to get that three week old bird poop off our car and take her through the drive-thru car wash.
It was the best $11 date we had, that drive-thru.
Music on the radio, a shared Bud Light (it's not really drinking and driving when you're sitting, stationary inside a car wash, mmk?), and a colorful wax show.
What more could you want, really? ;)

After that, we went back to Steve and Maya's and proceeded to drink wine.
Many glasses of wine.
Greg (Steve's brother) and Nicole (Greg's girlfriend) came over and we drank some more.
We gathered around the kitchen island and talked and laughed and talked some more.
I really didn't get up much except for the 10 minutes Nicole and I spent in the bathroom talking about breast augmentation and such.
But that's neither here nor there.

Around 12:00am, when I had no business even being awake anymore, we all decided to walk down the street to the local bar.
We got there, we ordered cosmos to channel our inner Sex And The City, 
then went to the back patio area for about 60 seconds.
Then Greg and Nicole left and it was just me, Verner, and Steve.

We talked about flea markets and furniture.
Then around 1:30am, when I really had no business being awake,
The Dizz and I decided to go get Mexican food.
Because, well, why wouldn't we?

We went to this place in the Mission where I can't even remember the name anymore.
It was dingy and it was divey, but holy guac, it was amazing.
The nachos! You must eat the nachos.
And the 5 pound burritos! I think I only got through 1 pound, but still. That was glorious, too.

I remember helping this older woman (who MAYBE was a man?) get her salsa cap on her containers because she couldn't do it and after watching her 5 failed attempts and no one else was helping her (him?) I stepped in and saved the day!

And then that's it!

That's IT.

We went home and went to bed.

And here's where things get weird.

I woke up the next morning feeling a deep sting on my left leg,
and when I went to look at it, this is what I saw:

There was no blood and no visible cut.

About an hour later, it looked like this:

Still puffy and still red and still stingy.
The Dizz suggested I wash it?
So I did.
And the warm water made it sting like a mother.

A few more hours passed and it looked like this:

Looked like maybe a little blister was starting to form?

By nightfall, a definite blister. Gross.

This morning, I went to check the battle wound:

Excuse the trash.
But it still stings.
And look at that blister!

My first thought is: Burn?

But don't you think I'd REMEMBER getting BURNED sometime between work and late-night Mexican?
I mean, drinks were had, yes, but I remember everything else!

Maybe it's not a burn.
Maybe someone shanked me at the Mexican joint.
But then there'd be blood. So I guess that theory is out.

Anyway, you guys figured out my medical mystery last year when I was in Thailand and woke up with welts, which really turned out to be jellyfish stings, so I figured, hey, what the heck, let them have at it!

Any idea what this mystery battlewound could be from??
Please don't tell me some gross bug attacked me in the night and is burrowed underneath my skin and that that's not really a blister, but actually eggs laid inside my leg? Shudder.

Oh and hey, happy Monday.
Hope your weekend was swell and battle-wound-free.


P.S. It's June! 50% off all ad spots this month!
Use code: JUNE50

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