Wednesday, March 5, 2014

I'm falling apart.

I woke up yesterday morning, dusted off my yoga mat that has been shoved behind the couch for the last 6 months, and attempted to do yoga. Key word: attempted. I shakily and sweatily got through about 30 minutes before I deemed it "break time", to which break time turned into breakfast and the rest of my day, never to return to that dusty mat.

This morning upon waking up, I felt those intense 30 minutes of yoga in every muscle of my body as I stiffly pried myself from bed. Since when did 30 minutes of "relaxing yoga" make you feel like an 80 year old? I can't decide if I should press on with my yoga practice or throw the mat behind the couch again. Stay tuned.

Speaking of feeling old and feeble these days, every time I go out for a run to train for this god-awful half marathon, my right knee screams very angrily at me. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's saying, "STOP! Dear God, STOP! If you don't stop running this minute, I will stab you repeatedly until you do!" So then I keep running anyway. And then my knee feels like it's being stabbed a thousand knife deaths.

Maybe it's a sign. A sign that running any more than 3 miles is unnatural and should never take place. I mean seriously, why do human beings feel the need to run so far? What are they running to? What are they running from? Why put ourselves through this pain? I don't have the answer. So instead, I keep running and following the herd of running idiots.

Lastly, it needs to be documented that last week, I went temporarily blind.

And when I say blind, I really mean I lost vision in my left peripheral, which was replaced with this hazy, aura-like, blurriness. Followed by a headache and nausea, followed by actually throwing up my Luna Bar and apple (tmi?). I had no idea what the hell was happening to my body, so I did what any smart person does, I Googled the symptoms.

And guess what? Apparently, I had my first ever migraine at the ripe age of 27! I couldn't believe it. Me, someone who MAYBE gets a headache once or twice a YEAR, experienced an actual, real life, migraine! I sound excited about it, which I mean, I wasn't, but also I kind of was, like now I know what other people are talking about with this migraine business, and yeah, it does suck!

Anyway - all of this to say: I'm falling apart. My body ain't gettin' any younger and I'm definitely noticing. But I mean, what the crap. I'm still in my 20's, I don't think I should be in this much pain, right? Where's a chiropractor when I need him? Oh yeah, in San Diego - 500 miles away from me. #ugh.

Okay, mid-week rant over. Thanks for always listening. You're a real gem, you know that?


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  1. this post made me feel better about my life. for you see, i have thought that i was having all of the above issues because i was fat. however, now i KNOW that is only because i am old. thanks sista

  2. Sorry, but I did giggle a little at this post. Which sounds mean, because it's like I was laughing at your misfortunes. I swear I wasn't, you're just a good story teller!

    Keep doing the yoga! Your body is sore because of the inactivity, not because you're old (which you're not!)

    Michaela // Where is my mind?

  3. Aren't migraines supposed to hurt really bad? And now that you have Obamacare.....go see a doctor!

  4. Oh man, I experienced my first migraine a few years ago at the ripe age of 22. Half my tongue went completely numb and then half of my face was tingly... I thought I was having a stroke! When my vision blurred, I promptly left work and curled into the fetal position for several hours while intermittently throwing up. It was horrible! Luckily it only happened one other time... at my friend's wedding, my hand went numb as I was being introduced to people... awkward.

    Good times... I hope you're lucky like me and those headaches don't reoccur!

  5. omg, i just had my first migraine too! at the age of 28. for me I know it was triggered by exercising too hard in the morning without eating ... i started to lose vision, felt nauseous and all that and i obvioulsy got in the car and drove to urgent care (b/c i really thought i was dying/going blind) and she told me I was having an "aura migraine" .. i was like, what.. bc i didnt even have a headache at that point. but apparently that happens in 15% of people they get these "auras" before a migraine b/c their body is signaling that they're about to have a migraine. so weird! but also, interesting. that is until i went ot the lady doctor and she told me i couldn't be on the pill b/c they won't prescribe to someone who suffers from aura migraines ... which i found outrageous because it's only happened once...but still!

    anyways, yeah.. getting old..falling too! i did a stadium workout on SATURDAY and i'm still sore today -_-

  6. If you made it to 27 without any migraines, I say you're doing okay, blindness and deathly knee pain aside.

  7. 27 seems like such a random age to be bothered by, but I'm turning 27 next week and for the first time in a long time I feel old....Apparently it's all down hill from here. Yikes. (I know anybody over the age of 27 would be laughing at me right now!)

  8. I did a few "basic" floor exercises the other day, and for the next two days I couldn't sit down or get up without some tricky maneuvering. :( Getting old sucks.

  9. Yikes! I have never had a migraine but my hubs gets them all the time. He is always in so much pain and I can barely understand so I just rub his head. I'm sorry you're falling apart, maybe soon you can just get a robo scooter and then all lives problems will be solved.

  10. Same here! Achy back, breaky shoulders - ha, I sound like a country song now.
    But I hear ya, girl. Just wait till you hit your thirties, it goes all downhill from there.

    Listen to your knee! It knows what's good for you! Stop running immediately, retire to the next bar and enjoy a big glass of wine. Grapes are healthy for you.

  11. When I was reading the part where you were describing the "blindness" I was like, "She totally had a migraine!" and then I read further....

    I have migraines all the time. They are AWFUL. Take care of yourself, lady!! We are getting too old for this shit.

    xo Denise

  12. I love how you can make crappy stuff hilarious. I know what you mean, girl. I went on a walk at the park on Sunday and my legs were in pain a bit. Like what? I am only 21. Pathetic.

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