Friday, March 14, 2014

I fell asleep at the freaking San Francisco Ballet.

I find this story a little bit hilarious and a little bit mortifying.

But let's rewind a bit, first.

A few weeks ago, I was out driving, and I happened to pick up a girl. She was very petite, she had her hair pulled back in a bun, and she was eating a croissant. Which doesn't really have anything to do with anything really, except that, I soon found out she was on her way to ballet practice at the San Francisco Opera House! I had a Real. Live. Croissant-Eating Ballerina in the back of my car and I was insanely excited about it.

I then proceeded to ask her a million questions about the life of a ballerina because secretly, deep down, I've always wished I could be one. But alas, I'm a stumpy little half Korean with slim-to-no piano skills in my repertoire. Anyway, after learning that your career as a ballerina basically ends by the time you're 38, amongst other very interesting facts like the San Francisco Ballet is one of the top ballets in ALL of the WORLD, I told her I've always wanted to see one but that I was worried I wouldn't be able to follow the story. Any time I've seen ballet on TV, I never have any idea what's going on. Call me crazy, but I just didn't get it. So she suggested we see Cinderella since I already know that story and it will be easy to follow along.

I thought that was a perfect plan.

So perfect, in fact, that I went straight home and promptly told The Dizzle, "Honey! We're going to the ballet!" I went online and scoured around to find some reasonably priced tickets.

Reasonable being $65 each, located exactly in the nosebleeds. What can I say, we make do with what we can.

Anyway, on the day of the performance, I couldn't help but prance around our tiny little studio and excitedly announce, "We're going to the balleeeettttttt!!!!!" followed with a spin and a twist and a high leap onto the bed! I'm sure The Dizzle was HIGHLY impressed with my dance skills seeing as I have had NO formal training, thankyouverymuch.

Anyway. ANYWAY!

We got all gussied up, called ourselves an Uber and headed to the Opera House!

I look disgusting here, but I love the background.
Upon arrival, we grabbed a drink at the bar (obvi), then proceeded to climb 684 flights of stairs to get to our seats. I told you: Nosebleeds. But even from way up high, looking down on the stage and orchestra was still a pretty spectacular view (the picture doesn't do it justice).

At 7:30pm, the lights dimmed and the music played slow and beautifully. The dancers took their place on stage and began telling the story of Cinderella.

Except hold up. 

Soon, my mind was flooded with a million questions. What is this? Isn't this Cinderella? Who's that character supposed to be? Why are those children playing with wooden swords? What are they doing? Where am I?

I kept looking over at The Dizzle and asking him what was going on because I SWEAR to you I couldn't figure it out. He had no clue either, because turns out, he barely knows the story of Cinderella in the first place, but seriously, I was so lost. I mean, I could see there were the evil step sisters and step mother. I saw her doing chores. But what is this? Scary monsters with long fingers? Why don't I remember this part of the story?

Anyway, I finally decided to just watch the dancing and enjoy the music and not try to decipher every dance move and compare it to what it COULD mean to the story of Cinderella I had in my mind.

But then it got warm.

Really warm.

And that music. That damn music! It was just so soothing. And so peaceful. I gently laid my head on The Dizzle's shoulder, my eyes feeling very heavy. And the next thing I knew, clapping was happening and the lights came on! Act 1 came to a close and I was effing ASLEEP!

How embarrassing.

We got up and stretched our legs, continuing to express our confusion while also trying to eavesdrop on the people around us who were talking in depth about what was going on. It seems we were the only two that didn't get it (and how could I when I was sleeping through half of it?).

I perked up a bit and said we should try again for Act 2 because I think they're at the ball now and we all know this part! Prince dances with Cinderella, Cinderella has to leave at midnight, she loses her shoe, yadda yadda. We got this!

And hey guess what? Act 2 was a good 80% easier to follow! I caught the dancing part and the shoe part. Then there was just a whole ton of other dancing and running around thrown in that I just took for face value.

Act 2 came to a close and it was already 9:30pm with ANOTHER act to come. I didn't think I could keep my eyes open much longer. So we ended up leaving. Leaving! I know, I know, I told you this story was a little mortifying.


I think I have come to the conclusion that although ballet is so very beautiful and the way the dancers can move their bodies is incredible and enviable, I just don't think I will ever be an avid "ballet goer." We can check it off our San Francisco Bucket List, be grateful for the experience, and just accept that we are more of the Broadway type instead. Like that time we saw Wicked? LOVED. I need words, people. Singing! Talking! Something to help this slow brain of mine follow along easier.

Over and out.


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  1. Girl I am crying laughing!! This is the best story EVER!!! I am telling everyone that will listen to me today about this...thank you!!

  2. HAHAHA!!! This is hilarious! The only ballet I've ever seen was the Nutcracker, and that's when I was like 11. A few weeks back, I saw Les Mes locally and I loved it. It really got me thinking that I should go to the theatre more often... But if I start hanging out there more, I can totally see me falling asleep mid-act. This girl has a strict 10 p.m. bedtime and I caught myself getting a little drowsy by the second Act of Les Mes!


  3. I love ballet! I would have been so excited to speak to a "real" ballerina too.

  4. LOL! That girl set you up but I'm proud of you for giving it a whirl. Cinderella is about as classical as ballet can get and the classical ballets usually last around 3+ hours because back in the day, ballets were the equivalent of today's movie theaters. I think you might be more interested in seeing a contemporary ballet or modern dance company perform. The pieces are shorter and more dynamic and the whole program is usually an hour and a half. Alonzo King's Lines Ballet is based in San Fran, you should check them out if you feel like giving ballet another try :) I can also recommend some hip-hop companies too if you're interested!

  5. It must run in your genes.... I fell asleep at Phantom of the Opera!!!

  6. Did you see the Book of Mormon? So good.

    1. I haven't! But I want to SO bad! I hear it's amazing!!! Definitely on my bucket list.

    2. I went and saw The Book of Mormon a couple weeks ago. SOOO freaking hilarious. Like, cramp-in-my-side hilarious.

  7. This is beyond hilarious!! It's that damn music!!

    xo Denise

  8. This is phenomenal! I actually fell asleep at the opera but it was not in English so I think I only made it 10 minutes!

    xx Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

  9. oh, you can totally fall asleep at a broadway show. case in point? me last year at war horse. it was so boring, i couldn't believe it! we did see wicked too, that was a great show!

    xo. jenn @ hello, rigby!

  10. Ha ha ha hilarious. .. You have the best stories..

  11. I agree about the need for words! I don't want to have to interpret what people are trying to say through song and dance. Too much work! I'm trying to be entertained here!

  12. This is the best, my sister did the same thing at the ballet went to see swan lake and kept asking who was a swan and then just slept. So funny, I'm with you I'm need some words with the dancing

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