Once upon a time, when I was a young buck of 18, living in the big city of El-Lay, I decided to get my first (and since, only) brazilian wax. On the day of the appointment, I threw back a shot of vodka and made my way over.
I entered the salon, feeling my nerves rise, and was taken to a room in the back. They then instructed me to put on these XXL paper panties and lay back on the table. Looking back, there really was zero need for those paper panties. I mean, homegirl was going to see everything (and I mean everything) anyway, so a pair of giant paper underwear wasn't really covering me exactly.
I had no idea what kind of pain to expect, but I was aware it would hurt some. So as she slapped on some hot wax, I braced myself for what was to come. She laid a strip on top of the wax then said "1, 2, 3," and did a quick RIIIIIPPPP of the strip, pulling off the hair and, what I was CERTAIN, my first layer of skin.
This was me immediately after:
When she was done, I hobbled off the table, holding my swollen and BLEEDING hoo-hah close, whispering apologies and vowing I would never do that to her again. I would simply shave for the rest of my life!
Fast forward 9 years.
I have come to learn throughout the years that what I experienced was rare and should never have happened. Apparently waxing ISN'T supposed to make you bleed? Huh. Who knew?
So. After talking with a few friends, I decided to give it a try again. I know, call me crazy. But after 9 years of shaving, I just feel like it's time. I mean, surely after almost a decade, things have progressed in that department? Plus, I would love to go weeks without having to think about things down there, while also not looking like an amazon woman. Also, I hear the more you do it, the less your hair will grow back in the future, and I'm all about that. In fact, if I could snap my fingers and be hairless from the eyeballs down, you bet your sweet ass I would be snapping till kingdom come.
Anyway, two friends recommended this place a few blocks away, called Stript Wax Bar. They only use hard wax, too, so no more strips of fabric sticking and ripping off a layer of skin. They also give you champagne before your appointment to calm your nerves. Perfection. I plan to pop a few Ibuprofen before my appointment as well.
The appointment is next Friday...Can you tell I'm a little nervous?
I asked the lady on the phone if I should take a few shots before going in. She laughed and said it was up to me. Seeing as my appointment is at 10 in the morning, I probably won't....actually, when has time ever been a factor for my alcohol intake? Kiidddinngggg.... (not really).
Have any of you had a brazilian done? Any tips for pain relievers?
I hope this is worth it.



I entered the salon, feeling my nerves rise, and was taken to a room in the back. They then instructed me to put on these XXL paper panties and lay back on the table. Looking back, there really was zero need for those paper panties. I mean, homegirl was going to see everything (and I mean everything) anyway, so a pair of giant paper underwear wasn't really covering me exactly.
I had no idea what kind of pain to expect, but I was aware it would hurt some. So as she slapped on some hot wax, I braced myself for what was to come. She laid a strip on top of the wax then said "1, 2, 3," and did a quick RIIIIIPPPP of the strip, pulling off the hair and, what I was CERTAIN, my first layer of skin.
This was me immediately after:
HOLY EFFING HELL that was the worst pain I had ever experienced in my life (aside from, years later, my boob job). With each pull, I let out a loud cry of pain. She then had the audacity to shush me! Lady, you're the reason I'm in this torture chamber, at least let me scream a little!
When she was done, I hobbled off the table, holding my swollen and BLEEDING hoo-hah close, whispering apologies and vowing I would never do that to her again. I would simply shave for the rest of my life!
Fast forward 9 years.
I have come to learn throughout the years that what I experienced was rare and should never have happened. Apparently waxing ISN'T supposed to make you bleed? Huh. Who knew?
So. After talking with a few friends, I decided to give it a try again. I know, call me crazy. But after 9 years of shaving, I just feel like it's time. I mean, surely after almost a decade, things have progressed in that department? Plus, I would love to go weeks without having to think about things down there, while also not looking like an amazon woman. Also, I hear the more you do it, the less your hair will grow back in the future, and I'm all about that. In fact, if I could snap my fingers and be hairless from the eyeballs down, you bet your sweet ass I would be snapping till kingdom come.
Anyway, two friends recommended this place a few blocks away, called Stript Wax Bar. They only use hard wax, too, so no more strips of fabric sticking and ripping off a layer of skin. They also give you champagne before your appointment to calm your nerves. Perfection. I plan to pop a few Ibuprofen before my appointment as well.
The appointment is next Friday...Can you tell I'm a little nervous?
I asked the lady on the phone if I should take a few shots before going in. She laughed and said it was up to me. Seeing as my appointment is at 10 in the morning, I probably won't....actually, when has time ever been a factor for my alcohol intake? Kiidddinngggg.... (not really).
Have any of you had a brazilian done? Any tips for pain relievers?
I hope this is worth it.
xoxo



