Friday, December 19, 2014

I guess it runs in the family.

Good ol' Brother spreading the Christmas Cheer. We sure do love our Ugly Christmas Sweaters in this family...

We keep things real.

So yeah, he bought the sweater from the little girl's department at Walmart, then sewed on the feather boa accents himself. Nice touch, if you ask me.

Oh, and did I mention this is the same guy that handmade his own Tin Man costume for Halloween?

He kind of likes to go all out.

Love it.


I can't believe next week is Christmas already. We're leaving in FOUR days to drive down to Southern California and see my family! We'll be there for a whole week and then are driving out to Las Vegas to see The Dizzle's fam bam over New Year's.

New Year's Eve in Las Vegas = #youcanfindmeattheslots

I hope you all have a wonderful and happy holiday! It could be safe to say that this might be my last post of the year.... but fear not, you can always find me on Instagram! (duh) #instagramisthenewblog

Speaking of Instagram, did YOU do your Year-End video yet??? (As if it that's been a thing all along and I didn't, in fact, just do it for the first time ever.)

A video posted by Michelle Lim (@mishlove) on

It has been a pretty spectacular year, hasn't it? (Apparently filled with lots of bread bowls?)

xoxoxoxoxoxo Happy Holidays, my friends! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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Monday, December 15, 2014

Let The Epicness Ensue

Okay, so it's quite possible that I've hyped up this "Epicness" a whole lot. And I didn't really realize I was doing that (much) until about 8 million people asked me what this "NEWS" was.

And well, first of all, it's not "News" it's just something that we did and I'm going to show you. Second of all, it was maybe more like 6 people that asked. And third of all, no I'm not pregnant.

So then I was like, well shoot, will this just be a big let down when I finally reveal this wonderful magic? And thennnnnnn, then I looked at the magic again and smiled heartily and thought,
"'s still pretty epic."

So I guess there's no real way of introducing it any longer....

But first: The Back Story & Outtakes.

A few weeks ago, The Dizzle and I marched ourselves down to The Goodwill and dropped 50 Bones on matching sweater vests, turtlenecks, and Mom & Dad Jeans, respectively. Oh, and let's not forget the Christmas Tree Wine Glasses (filled with raspberry salad dressing because we didn't have any wine. Shocking, I know.)

We then came home, and got to work.

We put up our VERY professional backdrop (a.k.a. TAPED our bed sheet to the windows) and put down the "Snow" (a.k.a. our COMFORTER. On The Ground......Dedication, I tell you.).

We then proceeded to take MANY. MANY photos.

I give you one of my favorite outtakes:

I have taken the liberty to point out all the things I have deemed wonderful, starting with our glorious Mom & Dad Jeans. Oh, lordy, these bad boys came so high up on our waists. I had some major "fupa" going on, that's for sure.

Can we also take note of our running shoes. Because nothing says "awkward" like some high-waisted jeans and running shoes.

Let's not forget to point out the rolled up poster on the floor as well as a window screen poking out from behind the sheet. Those were completely forgotten about until much later.

Here is another one of my faves. I gotta say, The Dizzle has some Raw Modeling Talent.

And here is our first draft of what we were going for.....

But then we ended up going through Tiny Prints and using one of their templates. And so here I give you the epic finale. Our very FIRST holiday card together.

The Future Mr. & Mrs. Dixon wishing you a very happy holiday:

And there you have it.
Was it worth the wait??? ;)

Happy Holidays!

Saturday, December 13, 2014

When Stormageddon Comes To Town

9:00am: Wake up to what looks like a normal, rainy day. Sure, it's cloudy. It's a little cool. And it's wet. But you are slightly confused because the weatherman promised TREACHEROUS winds and FLASH FLOODS! But alas, all you see is normal rain, sans wind.

9:05am: Realize the power is out.

9:10am: Realize your internet is not working either.

9:15am: Start breakfast by frying some eggs.
9:16am: Go to use the toaster and remember the power is out.
9:17am: Go to use the microwave and remember the power is out.
9:18am: Try to make coffee by boiling hot water then pouring it into the coffee maker.
9:20am: Realize that was a horrible decision and vow to never do that again.

9:30am: Get back in bed because it's kind of cold and there's nothing else to do.
9:35am: Grab laptop to see if internet is working yet.
9:36am: Nope.
9:37am: Grab your phone to check Instagram and see that even the regular 4G data is awry and thus you cannot connect to the world of social media.
9:40am: Stare at the ceiling and feel detached from the world.
9:45am: Look over at The Dizzle who is peacefully reading his book and silently loathe his patience.
9:50am: Finally accept your situation and read, too.

11:00am: Feel hungry and a slight state of panic because WE HAVE NO FOOD OR POWER!

11:30am: Decide to face the "treacherous" storm and head out to scope out the situation.

11:35am: Bundle up in leggings, 2 pairs of socks, Hunter Boots, 1 sweatshirt, 1 zip-up, and 1 rain jacket, even though it's only 65 degrees outside, but, still, it's raining and you must stay protected!

11:36am: Tell The Dizzle that we should pretend we're in The Walking Dead and we're headed out to face the world and fight zombies!
11:37am: Receive a blank stare from The Dizzle.

11:45am: Get in car and drive to the grocery store.

11:50am: The grocery store is closed. The grocery store is closed?! Why is the grocery store CLOSED??? Don't they have generators?

12:00pm: Drive aimlessly and see all the businesses that are dark and shut down.

12:05pm: Notice that the Apple Store is SUSPICIOUSLY open, with the lights on and customers inside. (Ask yourself again why the grocery store is closed.)

12:10pm: Find ONE restaurant open! Roam Burger! FOOD! WE'RE SAVED!!!
12:15pm: Realize that everyone and their mother has also decided to come to Roam Burger to eat.
12:45pm: After waiting in line for 20 minutes to order, finally scarf down a burger as if it's the last warm meal you will ever have.

1:00pm: Arrive back home and get back in bed.
1:05pm: Fall fast asleep because the power and internet are still down.

2:00pm: Wake up to find that power has returned.
2:01pm: Internet is still not working.

2:02pm - 3:00pm: Read some more.
3:01pm: Fall asleep again because somehow reading in bed ALWAYS makes you do that.

4:00pm: Wake up.

4:01pm: Get ready for Stitch Fix Holiday Party.

5:30pm: Go to Holiday Party

6:00pm: Discuss said "Storm" with fellow coworkers and come to the conclusion that the power was turned off on PURPOSE.

7:00pm: Grab some wine and take several photobooth pictures.

7:30pm: Try using a GoPro stick and fail miserably because you just can't seem to figure out how to get the stick out of the picture. Have fun using it anyway and seriously consider buying one for yourself.

8:30pm: Get home and see that the internet is back. Hallelujah.

9:00pm: Proceed to curl up in bed and watch a movie whilst eating popcorn, freshly popped from the electricity-induced microwave.

10:30pm: Fall fast asleep despite having TWO naps that day.

Wake up the next morning: See that everything is back to normal and that rain is no longer falling.

And THAT, my friends, was my experience during the storm of the century. Some have even called it "Stormageddon," which I'm sure you can clearly see why due to its ferocity and violence.

Coming to you from The Marina in San Francisco, California.
Mishi: Over and out.

Monday, December 8, 2014

Run, Run Reindeer

1) The title of this post has nothing to do with anything, except that I've had that ONE line from that ONE song stuck in my head for several days now. So, ohhh about every hour or so? I'll belt out in a high pitched singing voice, "Run, run reeeiindeeeerrrrrr..." and then if I'm LUCKY, The Dizzle will echo back (also in a high-pitched singing voice), "Run, run reindeeerrrrrr..."

And then we go about our day as usual.

2) The above picture was taken from Thanksgiving Day at Verner's Sister's Casa in Noe Valley. It was a grand day and I just saw this picture last night as I was AWAKE AT 3:00 AM because I fell asleep at 8:00PM until 11:00PM and ruined my night of sleep...and so I thought I'd share.

Also? See that kid standing in front of me with his arm out? APPARENTLY, I gave him a flower at some point in my drunken stupor? And APPARENTLY he has kept said flower in his room ever since. And APPARENTLY he was NOT so happy to learn that Verner is not just my boyfriend, but in fact, my husband to be. Oooohhh 12 year old love... Those were the heart-wrenching days, weren't they? (Also, I hope he never reads this so that I don't embarrass him to all hell and beyond.)

3) The Dizz and I have set TWO rules this year, in regards to Christmas gifts for each other:

        a) Price Limit of $100
        b) Has to fit in a stocking

I have completed said shopping for him and have already broke BOTH rules.

And here's the thing about that: Stockings are not big, my friends. Which is WHY I originally wanted to get something like this:

But then Verner quickly shut that down and said it would defeat the purpose. So INSTEAD, we got these lame-o regular sized stockings from Target:

(And also there's a monogrammed wine glass thrown in there from my Mom. #ThanksMom)

ANYWAY, those stockings (hung from our radiator because it's the closest thing we have to a fireplace) ain't big. And those stocking holders ain't strong. So the minute I started putting presents in it, it fell off to the floor. So now, that lovely presentation no longer exists. They are on the floor, propped up on the wall. Classy.

And TWO (did I even start with one?): $100 doesn't go very far these days. As I was shopping for him online via Amazon (because why shop in stores when you can get free delivery?), soon my shopping cart was up to $175! And before I knew it, I pressed the "Purchase" button!

So, you know, to make things FAIR, I quickly told him that the NEW rule is a $175 limit. Because we're all about fair these days.


Monday, December 1, 2014

One hot minute.

Oh, hi there stranger.

But first, side note: I just about leapt out of this chair because I thought a real live lizard was crawling across the floor towards me... Turns out it was a dead leaf that is, in fact, not moving at all.

Anyway, I finally have a minute to sit down and just write. Verner and my mother have questioned why I haven't been blogging lately and I have two responses for them: 1) I feel like I have nothing interesting to write about and I don't think anyone wants to read how I wake up, eat, work, eat again, sometimes do a little wedding planning, usually just eat some more, and sleep. And 2) Because of said working (and eating?), I just don't have time to blog.

I really don't know how I had the time to blog every single day way back when. Oh wait, yes I do, I blogged instead of working.

Now? Work consumes me. But it's good, I promise. Things at Stitch Fix have been pretty dang awesome, actually. I've been styling my little heart out. I've been going in to the office here and there to help interview for new stylists, too (which I would imagine is a fairly good sign that I'm doing okay with the company). AND, I just had a phone interview last week to be a Lead Stylist and have a little team of my own to manage (fingers crossed). But whatever the outcome is for that, I'm happy in the job department. Finally. Do you know how good it feels to say that and really mean it?

It was touch and go there for awhile after "landing" in San Francisco 19 months ago. I basically loathed anything that had to do with work. And wouldn't you after traveling for 6 months with no one to answer to but yourself? So, yeah. It was rough. In fact, just one year ago, I was freshly fired, unemployed with no job prospects, and driving people around in my car to earn money. I was basically a bonafide taxi driver. Did I mention it was rough?

So you can imagine my delight that I've found a balance again. I actually like what I do, for a company I love. I have the flexibility to work wherever and whenever I want. However, that "whenever" aspect seems to be all time time, because well, have I mentioned how expensive it is to live in San Francisco? But it's okay. Really. I'm proud of us for making it work. I'm proud of us for working hard and saving hard and getting to where we are today. Do we still have financial goals we want to reach? Of course. Always, maybe. But that's okay, too.

(Does it feel like I'm asking you a lot of questions?)

I just sighed. A good sigh, though, because every time I do take a minute to sit down and write, I remember how therapeutic it is. I remember how good it feels to let my mind just connect with my fingers and let them write out whatever needs to be written. And then I ask myself why I don't do it more often?

I'm going to end with two things:

1) SOMETHING EPIC IS COMING. It will be here on the blog. It will be on Facebook. It will be on Instagram. And hell, it will even be in some people's mailboxes. Because this is big. Real big. And the ONLY two people who know about it are ME and HE ("he" being The V Dizzle).

Get ready. It's coming. Soon. I promise. You'll die. I'm dying already. It's epic.

2) Because I believe posts are more interesting with pictures, I will put this rare Toothy smile of The Dizz and me just moments before seeing The Hunger Games this past weekend. Excitement I tell you. Ex-EYET-Ment.

I would like to think I'll blog again soon, but just know.... even if I don't..... the epicness is coming. That I do promise.




Friday, November 21, 2014

Weekend Getaway

Verner and I headed out of the city yesterday morning to drive 8 hours down to glorious Menifee. Okay fine, there is nothing really glorious about Menifee, except the person living there: a.k.a. my mother. We decided to make a little trip to see the fam since we won't be down here next week for Thanksgiving and also it's my mom's 61st birthday on Sunday! So Happy Birthday, Mom!

Anyway, I brought down a wedding dress I had ordered online from BHLDN so that I could show my mom in person (which actually isn't going to be my wedding dress, but it's close enough). After chit chatting over wine for a bit we snuck off to her bedroom so I could try it on for her.

She had me stand on a foot stool thing as she buttoned me up and fluffed out the train.

Then, she promptly took a step back to look at me.....and cried.

She SAYS it's because she thought I looked so beautiful, but trust me on this: After being hungover in a car for 8 hours WITHOUT showering, my rats nest hair piled on top of my makeup-less head, I can guarantee you "beautiful" I was not, and instead would like to attribute her tears to the 3 glasses of wine that were consumed.

But still, it was touching. ;)

And then we sashayed over to my grandparents "quarters" so they could see their granddaughter in all her wedding dress glory (even though it isn't really the dress, but ya know, like I said, close enough). Unfortunately they won't be able to come to Kauai for the wedding because well, they're old? So it was really nice to be able to show them a little portion of the big day.

And now I will leave you with this:
I'm sure most of you know of the undying love my 2 year old niece has for V Dizzle. She came over this morning and ran straight into his arms. And, guess what? She can say his name now! "Verr...Ner." It's extremely cute. He was getting ready in the bathroom and she kept knocking on the door saying, "Hello? Come on! Hello?" So then he finally opened the door (because how could he not?) and she gave him a big hug then helped him brush his teeth, because she's awesome like that.

Oh, how I wish our future babies would look Asian...or Black....or something of that sort. But unfortunately, I don't think their Quarter Korean or Quarter Black parts will be dominant enough to overpower their Half White part. Mark my words: We're going to have a white-skinned kid with a red afro and Asian eyes. I can see it now...

Alright - ramble over.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

xo, Mish

Friday, November 14, 2014

I said the word "Love" 51 times in this post. Consider yourself warned.

Hi Honey!

Today you are 33! Hip, hip, holla, holla, hoo Dizzle hoo! Oh and hey, happy birthday! :)

I don't know if I can top last year's post, or heck, even the year before that was pretty spectacular, but you know me, I will sure try my darndest to make this day extra special for you.

I have decided that for this year's "Annual Birthday Ode Where I Have All Reason And Excuse To Get Extra Mushy And Publicly Proclaim My Love For You" post, I will share 33 reasons why I love you.

Are you ready for this? (You might want to grab a tissue.)



1. I love how effortlessly generous and loving you are. Not just with me, but with everyone. It's at the core of who you are. And I just love you for it.

2. I love that every morning, without fail, you hug me and kiss me and ask me how I slept. And then you make coffee. That sweet, sweet coffee. And it's just about perfect every time.

3. I love that we can spend all day, every day together (6 months of traveling definitely proved that for us) and not get sick of it. You are the one and only person I would ever want to share a studio apartment with.

4. I love that when we are apart, you always send me an "I love you" or an "I miss you" text.

5. I love that you are so open and willing to talk about your emotions and feelings. This wasn't always easy for you in the beginning, and Lord knows I've always been an open book - so I love so very much this part about you.

6. I love how easy it is to be with you. Truly. A lot of people say, "Relationships are hard work." And trust me, I know what it's like to be in a relationship where it was hard work. But not with you. Not ever. It's just so easy (dare I say, too easy?). If you ask me, I'd rather say, "Relationships take energy," because the word "work" just sounds too negative. And Boo, there's no one else I'd rather put energy into than you.

7. I love that you managed to throw me my first ever surprise party. That you took months to plan and prepare for it. That you brought together our families and closest friends. For me. And that you actually pulled it off (I mean, we all know how nosy I can be). Kudos man...kudos.

8. I love (and envy) your patience.

9. I love that you'll practice our "first dance" to determine our potential wedding song late night in the kitchen. While I'm in my underwear (though I guess I didn't need to share that piece of information).

10. I love that you tell me you hope our future daughter looks just like me.

11. I love that I am just as excited about you as I was when I first met you.

12. I love that you have 30 minute long conversations with your mom. Which, when we first started dating, I thought was incredibly odd. A man who actually likes talking on the phone with his mother?! But you did it then and you do it now. And goodness gracious, I just love that about you.

13. I love that you love to cook. And I love that you got me (Queen of the Microwave) to love to cook.

14. I love that we share equal household duties and that you're more than willing to do the dishes or laundry when your fiancè is being extra lazy.

15. I love that you truly make me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.

16. I love that you still open doors for me.

17. I love that you'll enthusiastically watch me do a little dance or sing a little song and be my "captive audience" when I've been alone all day and need a little attention. (Have I made myself sound completely pathetic yet?)

(even when I don't know the words....)
18. I love that you come to visit me at the store when you have a break between clients just to come say hi and that you missed me.

19. I love that you make sure I've been drinking enough water or eating enough snacks when I've had an extra long day of work. (Okay, now do I sound pathetic?)

20. I love that no matter how wild or "out there" my dreams are, you are the #1 supporter and fan. Always, without fail. You make me feel like I could fly to the moon if I wanted to.

21. I love that you're not afraid to tell me when you're scared or unsure about the future.

22. I love that you'll break your diet rules and eat some popcorn with me because I said I didn't want to eat it alone.

23. I love how hopelessly corny and cheesy we are, and hope that never stops.

24. I love that you give me your honest opinion about my outfit choices. (I mean seriously now, I may have the "Stylist" job title, but I think it's pretty clear who the true stylist is...)

25. I love that you'll watch endless amounts of Grey's Anatomy with me (amongst many other chick flicks).

26. I love that you're never too proud to say you're sorry (even if it's me that should say it first).

27. I love the amount of respect you have for me, and all women, really. You're not the type of man to put someone down, even if you're "just joking." I know what that feels like to be made to feel "less than" from a man, and it never feels good. So thank you for always making me feel equal and loved. Have I mentioned I love you?

28. I love your sense of adventure and your love for travel. Not just anyone would be willing to sell all of their possessions to go frolicking around the globe with their girlfriend of just a year.

29. I love that you dream big.

30. I love your beauty; both inside and out. (But let's just make it clear how drop dead sexy I think you are. And how much I love that too.;)

31. I love that you're going to be the future father of my children and that I have ZERO doubts how wonderful of a dad you'll be and will love them something fierce.

32. I love that you are exactly who you are and that there is not ONE thing I would change about you.

33. I love that you're not perfect, but you're perfect for me. (cue: cheese)

So in case you didn't catch my drift....I love you. You are the best part of my day. Every day. And I can't wait to call you my HUSBAND in just 7 1/2 short months.

Happy birthday, baby boo. Let's make it a good one, shall we? :)



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Monday, November 10, 2014

And then we became one with nature.

This past weekend, we rented a condo with friends via the great AirBnb in the great land of Yosemite. And it was great. I gotta tell ya, though - growing up in California all my life, I'm a little ashamed to admit that there are far too many places in this beautiful state that I haven't seen; Yosemite being one of them.

(Update: My mother has just informed me that I have, in fact, been to Yosemite and it appears that, once again, my memory has failed me. So there's that.)

It was refreshing to get away from the city, away from cell service and WiFi, and just well, be one with nature and friends (Okay fine, there was a TV there and we may or may not have watched an episode or two of Kendra On Top, to which I'm not necessarily proud of that fact, but I mean, come on! She's going through quite the crisis with a cheating husband and transsexual! How could you not watch?!).

Friday night we grilled hamburgers and played the always hilarious and always inappropriate game, Cards Against Humanity. I mean seriously, that game will never get old.

And Saturday we decided to be quite ambitious by hiking the 8.4 mile Chilnualna Falls that even the description warned us that it "climbs relentlessly," to which we said, "Poo, poo!" and climbed anyway.

Relentless? And how!

Every muscle beneath my boobs were screaming at me to stop. About 30 minutes in, I soon realized the importance of cardio training. Training, might I add, that I have not done, nor ever care to do. But yes, important, nonetheless.

Anyway - pain aside, the views were spectacular. And I mean spec-tac-u-lar.

And this is the part of the post where I insert a bazillion photos:

^^^ Here's the gang at the start of the hike, smiling big, with no idea what lies ahead... ^^^

^^^ Sometimes I like to get artsy fartsy and pretend I have photography skills. ^^^

And then we reached the top and cracked open some fresh, cold beers. And if you ask me, all hikes should be accompanied by beer because not only does it serve as a great reward for when you reach the top, but it helps mask the pain as well as distract you from the ever-looming fact that now you must turn around and go allllll the way back where you came from.

Muscles sore and faces caked with salty sweat, we finally made it back and indulged in some chili that had been cooking in the crock pot all day. It was glorious.

Sunday we stopped at the Tunnel View lookout and saw the Half Dome and El Capitan rocks. One of my favorite views.

Can you tell?

^^^ Had so much fun with you guys - another trip for the books!^^^

^^^ I haven't decided if being engaged constitutes sending Christmas Cards this year, but if we do, this could be a nice contender, no? ;) ^^^

Anyhoozle - there ya have it. Yosemite at its finest. I hope you enjoyed my once a month blog post. ;) It literally took me about an hour to do this, so you better.

Happy Monday!


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Monday, October 27, 2014

And then I got all kinds of feisty.

Saturday was quite the day, if I do say so myself (so prepare yourself for this post, it's a long one).

It all began with a little wedding dress shopping extravaganza with my posse in tow (plus Mo & Marion, not featured here but are equally as important ;).

Upon arrival, we were quickly told that champagne was NOT allowed as it was against the landlord's rules. And to that I said, "Poo, Poo," because perhaps if they had let me get a little buzzed I would have been more inclined to purchase a dress.

But alas, there were no keepers at the first location...

...Which is why I can show you some of these pictures. ;)

You guys. When I put on the very first dress, it really hit me that, oh my gosh, I'm going to be a bride! And I was kind of hoping I'd feel that way; You know, some sort of real jolt to this whole wedding experience. And it was simply the best having my close friends and family there - oohing and ahhing over each dress (some more than others ;). And it's true what they say: Be open to all possibilities, because something you may have thought you wouldn't like can very well be something you do indeed love!

Oh, and remember when I swore up and down that there was no way in hell I'd spend more than $1000 on ONE dress for ONE day??


Then we went to the second place.

The moment we walked in, I could tell just how upscale it was (and how SO out of my price range it was, but what the hell, let's just pretend): Exclusive boutique located only in San Francisco. Imported lace from France. Hand sewn. Um yeah...."expensive" just wafted in the air.

We were the only ones there, given their undivided attention. I described the setting: Beach wedding on Kauai....simple....pretty....etc. etc.

And then.... With the curtain closed, she helped me into the first dress, and the moment I looked at myself in the mirror, I was done for. She opened the curtain and revealed the dress to my faithful onlookers, and I could see it in their eyes - they fell in love too.

This was it! This was the one! I totally had "THE MOMENT" that people speak of but you wonder if it's just a myth. My search was done - I found it! I could feel myself get a little teary eyed looking at this beauty and picturing myself standing on the beach, my hands in Verner's, in front of all our loved ones, exchanging our vows...

And then she told me the price, and it was like that reverse record player sound happened and I snapped to!

I'm sorry, come again??

$4300 friends. $4300 effing dollars. And then my heart broke.

But just so you know - the $4300 INCLUDES all alterations and fitting costs, so I mean, it's basically a deal. No? Not at all? I'm crazy for even considering? Yeah okay....

The reason I am NOT going to post a picture of this one is because A) I could possibly find it online by someone who is re-selling theirs that they bought and B) I just might really go over the edge and do something I regret. Maybe. We'll see. Probably not. But maybe.

But like I told my friends & fam - - - - "My daughter would be CRAZY not to want to wear this dress at her wedding." <-----and THAT should tell you just how amazing it was.


Anyway - I started this post with something way different in mind, but then went on a wedding dress tirade.

The REAL reason I wanted to blog was because of what happened later that night.

So, if you're still reading (Hi, Mom), then please, allow me:

That night, a few friends, The Dizzle, and I went out and hit da bars. We started with some prickly pear margaritas from Tacolicious. And they were delicious. But not nutritious.

Then there was some wine....and beer.....and perhaps a kamikaze shot. <------just to set the scene for you.

Then we went to another bar. And if you offered me $1 Million Dollars to tell you the name of the bar, I would still not be able to. <-----and that should set the scene as well.

But here's what went down.

I ordered a beer from the bar.

The bartender poured me a beer.

I grabbed the beer.

Then HOMEBOY to my left, who was highly intoxicated (yes, even more than me), GRABBED my beer and took a ginormous gulp!

So I grabbed my beer back and said, "Hey!" While also kind of "thumping" him on the chest with my arm.

(Now, now, I'm not usually the violent type, but when you grab AND drink my fresh cold beer, all bets are off. But take note I said "thump" because it was not a punch, just a little "whack of the arm", if you will.)

And THEN, he said..........wait for it.......

"Is that all you got, STUPID?"

(Good one, guy. Good one.)

So then *I*, with not a bat of the eye, whip around and point my stubby finger in his face, and in the angriest and scariest voice I could muster I say,


(Pause for laughter, because hahahahahaha I still can't say that line without laughing heartily.)

I mean, come on. Picture me, this 5'4" Asian chick staring up at this 6 foot really really drunk white guy trying to be all tough like.

So then get this.

The drunk guy turns and leaves (because obviously I was super scary and he had to run for his life), and then his FRIEND comes up to me, hands me a $20 bill, and says, "Here, take this. I'm really sorry," and leaves.

And then like 8 million seconds later, The Dizzle comes up behind me, all tough like and ready to defend my honor, and says, "What'd he say to you???"

Don't worry, Boo, I handled it. And the next round's on me!!

Moral of the story? Sometimes standing up for yourself and protecting your beer from the drunks of the world will make you $20 richer. But you've got to be extra stern and scary about it. And don't forget the finger point.

The End.


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