Monday, December 9, 2013

What? You DIDN'T go to a strip club this weekend?

^^^Hey look, it's a giant picture of my head!^^^
The Dizz and I firmly believe in the importance of "Date Nights". A chance to get out of the house, just the two of us, and spend some time together. And more importantly, a chance for me to be motivated enough to take a shower and get out of my sweatpants from the week. Sexy, I know.

Friday night rolled around and so did my craving for Italian. San Francisco has a little neighborhood called North Beach that is known for being the Italian 'hood, and so off we went! We found a little restaurant called Mona Lisa and proceeded to have a really good dinner. I'm talking a bottle of wine, bruschetta, salad, and some amazing spaghetti carbonara.

But what stands out the most from that night, besides the great wine and food, was our conversation. Not so surprisingly, the conversation of travel came up. We were talking about some of our favorite memories from our 6-months of galavanting around the world. That time we rode bikes through the villages in Ubud, just the two of us and a local. We saw a villager bathing in the stream, for crying out loud! It was incredible. Then there was that time we drank poop coffee, and well, how could we ever forget that. We couldn't believe that it has been an ENTIRE YEAR since last New Year's in Rome. We've been back in America for as long as we were even gone now and it's crazy to think sometimes because those memories are still so fresh in our minds. I'm so thankful for them, but I'm getting super antsy to start creating more travel memories!

Anyway, you're probably like, "Michelle! Yeah, we get it, you ate food and talked with your boyfriend. Big. Deal. Get on to the strip club part!"

Okay, okay, so after dinner, we were strolling around North Beach, looking for a bar to grab a post-dinner drink before heading home. And you should know that North Beach is also known for its strippers. Lots and lots of strip clubs.

So as we were walking, I spotted one and said, "Hey! Let's go in here!" 

And then The Dizz gave me a very strange and uncomfortable look.

But I said, fear not! This will be fun! So I walked up to the bouncer and I said, "Hello, bouncer, how much is it for us to go in?"

The bouncer replied, "It's free for you, $5 for him, but I'll let you guys go in for free. Oh, and hey, did you know that this is the WORLD'S FIRST strip club?"

"I did not, good sir, but I'm glad you told me! Even more the reason we should go in!"

And go in we did.

And to all of you that have never been to a strip club, I would like to share some wisdom with you.

There's a reason why no one goes to a strip club at 7:00pm.

It was rough. It was.........very rough.

The only other strip club I've been to was in Vegas at 1:00am, with my brother and sister-in-law. (I know, we're weird like that). And I remember thinking, "Oh my gosh, they're all so pretty!!" 
And well, let's just say I wasn't necessarily thinking that Friday night.

The difference between a 1:00am stripper and a 7:00pm stripper is can I put this? Is like the difference between Pamela Anderson circa Baywatch and Pamela Anderson now.

Make sense?

Regardless, the hour and 2 Bud Lights were well worth my time, in my opinion. The strippers were very friendly, one even kissed me on the cheek and asked to sit next to me! And all the while I'm thinking, "I could totally do that." I'm jooookkiinnnggg.  ....Sort of. I mean, tell me you've never wondered if you could be a stripper! I'm not saying literally, just like, if no one would ever know, could you do it?

No? Just me? ...........Well that's awkward.

These times of unemployment have got my mind going to some strange places, I tell ya.


P.S. Lots of fun goodies being given away over on Rachel's blog! Check it out :)

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  1. you are BRAVE girl- i've only seen real live strippers once in my life, and it was at a halloween costume party. i was dressed as a nun. and i cried. like balled... "where are their mothers? what would their mothers think? thats someones baby girl right there? OMG she used her vagina to grab a dollar bill out of that man's mouth!"

    so yeah... needless to say, i wont ever walk into a strip club. at 7pm or 1am. nope. not happening.

    but im glad it happened to you. so i could laugh. and yes, while i cried over the strippers, i honestly think i would TOTALLY do it, if i knew no one would come in that i knew... i mean, i film porn with my husband for his personal use, so stripping isnt too far off right?

    TMI?! oh well.. the deed is done. i like to film having sex with my husband. and i cry when i see strippers. where is Dr. Phil?

  2. I use to have a friend tell me that if a man goes to a strip club for lunch he's really going just to eat because there's a huge difference between a lunch time stripper and a night time stripper. I get now what he meant.

  3. Wow that sucks i never knew there was a time difference on the good strippers and the meh not that i need to know that :) haha but your brave going in there.

  4. I know I could pull off being a stripper physically. I just don't know if I could deal with what your average stripper deals with from men, without wanting to karate chop them. My ex roommate was a stripper, and the stories she told were pretty disturbing, from men trying to touch her to insulting her, etc. My tolerance for that kind of thing is thin. I'd get fired quickly.

  5. I totally considered stripping to put myself to college. Then I thought, I don't even like going to the beach and wearing a bathing suit ... that's not gonna work out lol

  6. I would be a terrible stripper. I don't have a sexy face, my sexy wink is laughable, and I am terribly uncoordinated. That being said, I definitely considered it when I couldn't find a job after college.

  7. If it was between being a homeless person or being a stripper, I would totally be a stripper to avoid going homeless. The only issue is that I don't have any upper body strength soooo yea, don't know how I would be able to work the pole haha!

  8. I used to call on strip clubs when I was a wine think they look rough out on the floor, you should see them before they get stripper-ized. It will blow your mind.

  9. Lol this is too funny. There is definite change in quality by time...I know this because I have drunkenly been dragged into a few strip clubs. I've also gone in as the 'sober' one. I've also had they 'hey I could totally do that...' Though. But I'd have to be reeeeeeally drunk, or reeeeeeally desperate to pay bills and so far thank God neither has happened. (Although we've been close lol) Anyway...I'll go to a strip aerobics class to satisfy my inner stripper for now.

  10. The fact that you and the boyf go to strip clubs together and have a good time is awesome. I have never been to one or plan on it just because I'm too cheap to tip LOL

  11. lmao. i only went to a strip club once for my cousin's birthday and it was fun and funnay. seeing the Pillow throwing them dollar bills to the stripper like he don't care was funny. but yes, the late night strippers are hawter. hahaha...

  12. I live in a small town so I have very limited (read: no) experience with strippers. Though a few years ago I did have a neighbor that was a "part time" stripper. Since she was older/seasoned she was allowed to pick her shifts. So, she lived down here during the week, and on the weekends she stayed in the city. :)

    And to answer that last question, I've thought about it before too! Ahem, in my younger years. I had just recently moved to California when someone asked a friend and myself if we'd be interested in stripping at a club. We turned it down, but I definitely thought about it for a few days.

  13. If this whole paralegal thing doesn't work out for me, dancing is my Plan B.

  14. I've just downloaded iStripper, and now I enjoy having the sexiest virtual strippers on my taskbar.

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