Goodbye Virgin.

This was definitely not a blog post I expected to ever have to write. So as I sit here with tear-stained cheeks and a heavy heart, I figured I might as well get this over with and share with you the events of my life-changing day.

As of 12:00pm today, I am no longer a part of Virgin America's family and it truly saddens me to type that.

It's also possible I'm still in a state of shock. I've been going through major ups and downs with my emotions since this devastating news and I'm not quite sure how to handle it just yet (other than immediately opening a bottle of pinot noir. obviously.) I cry. I feel numb. I've been in bed for hours. I cry again. I stare vacantly. Then I drink more wine. And then eeevvvery now and then there's a little glimmer of hope that things always have a way of working themselves out and soon enough I'll realize why this learning experience was a good thing for me. Then I get sad again, cry a little, and take another swig.

So you're probably wondering what the hell happened because wait, wasn't I just ranting and raving basically every single day about this new adventure of mine and how much I was loving it and acing every single exam and sharing all of the great plans I had for my life that revolved around this new career?! Yes, I was.

Until today.

Yesterday in training, the instructors asked us to all take out our "required items" that we need to have with us at all times when we're flying. Things like our manual, ID badge, passport, flashlight, extra batteries, working watch, etc. So I pull out my manual, badge, passport, flashlight, watch..... except, wait, I don't have any extra batteries. Shoot. Well, I can just borrow some from my friend because I remember my teacher saying that was acceptable to do. No big deal. Plus, this is training, we're not actually flying right now, so it should be okay.

"Michelle, do you have your extra batteries?"

"No," I reply a little sheepishly, because it's not usually like me to be unprepared, especially in important situations like this. But, at break time, I got 2 batteries from my friend and brought them to the instructors to show that I now had some.

Everything was A-Okay, right? W-R-O-N-G.

Apparently, because they weren't my batteries, it was a performance issue. No ifs, ands, or buts. (And since earlier in the training, I had turned my cell phone off at my desk instead of outside the class, this was now considered my second issue and was grounds for a discussion.)

So today, at lunch time, I was pulled aside by my instructor and the manager of the training program to have that discussion. And I thought it would be just that: a discussion. But unfortunately, it was explained to me that it was a second performance issue and I knew this was a required item but did not comply. Which, yes, technically is true, but, but, wait....you're letting me go over BATTERIES?!

So then here's the part where I usually start to go through the mourning period of anger, but then have to stop myself, because as much as I hate to admit it, it is completely, 100% my fault. I should have known better. Here I was focusing so much on trying to succeed in the program, studying for all of my exams, participating in class, being in compliance, when I overlooked something so simple. Batteries. Fucking batteries. Excuse my language.

I'm sad.
I'm embarrassed.
I'm disappointed.
I'm confused.
I'm shocked.
But mostly, I feel like I've let everyone down.

I haven't even told my friends yet. I don't know what to say. It's only been three weeks and I got kicked out of training? Me?? How is this possible? I just don't understand. And what's worse is that for the last month, I've been building this up so much and telling everyone and anyone how excited I was, and now? Oh, just kidding, I was lying about it all.

A few people in my class told me, "Don't worry, chin up! You'll find something BETTER!"

And all I can think is: This WAS my better!

This was what I felt like I had been waiting for all my life. I felt that I had finally found something I was passionate about. Not just flying, but the company in general! It was Virgin America that made me excited to be there every day and grow with the company. I don't want to just hop on over to Southwest for god's sake, it just wouldn't be the same! (No offense to any SW folks out there, but I mean, come on.)

I don't really know what else to say at this point, so excuse me while I lay back down with my Pinot and sulk a little more.

I'll tell you one thing though, I'm keeping that damn trench coat!

P.S. Would it be too soon to go out tonight and dress up as a flight attendant for Halloween? mmmyeah... too soon.

xoxo