Oh hi there. Happy Friday, eh? I'd like to take a moment and reflect on my past week. You know, soak it in, reminisce, see what I can learn from it. I mean, isn't that what life is all about? Learning and shit?
Right. Okay. So here we go. It's going to be mind-blowing, I promise.
Number One: As much as I love bringing out my inner Asian skills and putting them to use via my new at-home UV Gel machine (oh yes, you better believe I have one of these):
I have realized just how lazy I am in the aftermath, to which I spend the next week and a half with disgusting, chipped ombre nails that no one needs to see.
I think I need to either A) purchase the "Gel Removal" kit or B) stick to nail polish that can come off with the swipe of an acetone pad.
Number Two (Aren't you glad you've stuck around for this riveting information?): Google Maps has been my saving grace these days, especially being in a new city and never knowing where anything is, G-Maps has truly been my go-to. (Can't you tell how close we are since we're on a "G-Maps" name basis?)
I would like to suggest to the Google Gods that when the route calls for me to climb 628 stairs over a mountain just to get to the next street in order to catch a bus, please think of a different route. No one needs to be climbing that many stairs on her way to happy hour.
Or ever, for that matter.
Which brings me to my next point.
Number Three: If you forget to wear deodorant and then decide to climb 628 stairs to catch a bus for happy hour, you will stink. Lesson learned.
Number Four: If there is a way to cut yourself with a potato peeler to which your finger will then bleed profusely to the point where you dramatically exclaim you may need stitches, I assure you I have figured out how to do just that.
Number Five: Apparently everyone doesn't keep a giant bottle of wine on their nightstand, to which I quickly learned after posting this photo on Instagram and basically getting *crickets* in response. (cough)alcoholic(cough).
There you go.
Five mind-blowing pieces of information that have truly enhanced and enriched your life, I'm sure.
I really don't understand why I don't have the most popular blog in the world with the priceless words that flow from my fingertips.
And I guess that's my cue to exit.
I hope you all have a great weekend.
This weekend will be.....an interesting one for me.
I'm going to wait and see how it all goes before I divulge the details.
You see what I did there?
I created massive anticipation so that you will continue to hit the refresh button every 10 seconds come Monday morning. <--Genius.
Okay, seriously, I need to go. I think I'm delirious or something.
Hugs and kisses, homie.
P.S. Have you entered my giveaway yet? No? What?! Get over there and do it this instant!