Monday, July 1, 2013

It all went downhill from there.

This past weekend, The Dizzle and I had a grand idea. Grand, I say!

We were going to hike to the Golden Gate Bridge!

Neither of us have walked on the bridge (Okay, maybe I have when I was little, but I can't quite remember so I'm just going to say I haven't.), and with us living so close, it just made sense we do it as soon as possible.

So Saturday morning rolled around, and because we haven't quite figured out that whole curtains thing, we were wide awake by 8:00am.
Thank you, sunshine, for hitting me directly in the eyes every. single. morning.
You ARE really quite pretty though, and I like the way you light up our little home, so I can't really get too upset with you.


I was feeling pumped! I can't remember the last time I was up before 10:00am on the weekend. It was going to be a good day. I just knew it!

So off we went. Headed straight for the Golden Beauty.

The sun was shining! The birds were chirping! Everyone and their mother was outside, enjoying the day. Understandably so, I mean, it was just beautiful. I couldn't stop taking pictures.
People always say how horrible the weather is in San Francisco, but I will tell you, horrible it was not!

After about 45 minutes, and several breath-taking views, we made it to the bridge!

We walked out to the midway point, V Dizzle's sweaty hand in mine. Have I mentioned he's not the biggest fan of heights? But he was a trooper, that man of mine, oh yes he was. He even looked over the edge once or twice!

After a bit, we trekked our way back home, ready to conquer the rest of the day.

We were outside for, oh, maybe 2 1/2 hours?

And when we returned, I was disturbingly and shockingly presented with this:

Excuse the boob shot, but holy shit, is that red or what?! I spent a MONTH on an island in Thailand and NEVER got like this. And then I spend TWO hours outside, all before 12:00, and I become Queen Lobster?! I mean shoot. Normally, I'm good about putting on the sunscreen, but it didn't even cross my mind that day!

Anyway, by the time the evening rolled around, I was just as red.

But then my face caught up and my sunglasses line was extremely prominent. It looked like the biggest raccoon face you could imagine. How do I know this???

Because that evening we ended up at a house party, filled with MANY people I was meeting for the first time, and that's when the stares began.

And then every so often, someone would say, "Ouch!" "Oooooo, are you okay?"

And then I got that one guy who thought he was hilarious and said to me,

"Hey, were you out in the sun today or something? Looks like you've been wearing some sunglasses! Hardy har har!!" 

....No, butthead, I just have a skin disease, now get me another glass of wine.

So here I am, at this house party, looking like Red Lobster's mascot, feeling very sun drained, as I'm sure you can imagine. When suddenly I've realized that I got to that point where it was time to go.

Like, stat.

Mishi had one too many martoonies, if you know what I mean, and I sure as heck wasn't about to be the Red Lobster AND make a drunken fool of myself!

So as The Dizzle was getting hit on by a couple of girls asking him, "So, like, do you speak German because your name is like, Verner (giggle giggle)?" I quickly told him that we should probably get my red ass home.

Do you ever get that paranoid feeling when you're really drunk? Like NO ONE else is drunk and you're the only one? That was about where I was. Even though, thinking back, I'm sure that was not the case at all. Something about the flashback of people doing keg stands might be a good indicator.

Anyway, as I was half running, half-walking home (sometimes I run when I drink, don't ask me why), I somehow got the brilliant idea to stop at this random bar for "One. More. Drink."

Horrible idea.

I fell asleep at the booth and they asked me to leave.

I don't even know why I'm sharing this information at this point, but I think it's just so ridiculous.

Ridiculously hilarious.

Imagine this SUUPPEERR red Asian girl with a raccoon face, asleep at a booth, and it's only like 10pm.

As I was walking out, the bouncer looks at me, probably recoiling in fear from my scary face, and asks, "Are you okay?" I'm not sure I answered him before I started running again for home.

Let's just say my Sunday was spent 95% in bed.

Damn you, sun.


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  1. Oh nooooo! That sunburn looks painful! Keep popping advil, it'll really help. Also, i'm a TOTALLY paranoid drunk. I hate it, but i'm always certain i'm the only ass in the room.

  2. I probably should be a little more paranoid when I drink...maybe I'll take a page from you!

  3. OMG I am sorry but this story is funny. I do feel for you on the sun burn..I am part ginger and I tan so I know how it feels. I hope it heels well. The whole sleeping the booth part..kinda funny!

  4. Get some aloe gel and keep it in the fridge so it's nice and cold every time you put it on your sunburn!

  5. One day while I was running, a man pulled up beside me on a bicycle. He looked at me and said, "I know what your name is...Lobster!" Yep...I was pretty red! Red Lobsters, Unite!

  6. You are hilarious! I can tell you - the kegs stands were definitely an indication of how you were NOT the drunkest one there. I think that since it was this really nice place it seemed like people should be more sober - but definitely, they weren't :) You and Serena both falling asleep in bars- am I up next for that??

  7. bahahaha. you and i would be a mess if we drank together. an awesomely hot mess, but still. i also love to run when i drink (??) and i have been known to get immediately exhausted and fall asleep wherever i am with no warning. i'm a party i tell ya!

  8. "I fell asleep at the booth and they asked me to leave."

    Happens to the best of us. Happens to the best of us...

  9. Been there done that, I swear, booze and sun don't mix either, you get ten times drunker than you normally would. And of course angrier, because your whole body burns.

  10. Oh Michelle. I'm not sure I should admit how funny I found this? No offense, but it was hysterical! I'm glad you're ok. Get some aloe on your burns stat, its definitely helpful!

    If its any consolation I think you are a fantastic storyteller. Like, THE best. I love your blog for that reason (and many others)!

  11. HAHAHAHA, this made my day. Can I come visit and also run around with drunk Mish? Okay, great, see you soon.

  12. That picture of Kim Kardashian is amazing.

  13. every time i get a sunburn it is basically like someone took all the energy out of me. it's the worst! i feel asleep in sombreros after a hike, completely sober. i hope your sunburn gets better soon because that looks painful!

  14. Oh No!! that sunburn looks awful!! the CA sun can be a tricky monster!!

  15. Girl - I'm telling you - throw some coconut oil on that burn, it will clear it up so fast! :)

  16. Ouch! I almost never get sunburns (yeah, I know you want to hear this) but I can imagine how bad that is :( hopefully it gets better!

    Looks like this weekend was shitty for more than just me hahaha...

    Michelle @ Mishfish13

  17. I hate to laugh at your embarrasment but this was just too funny Mish! Don't feel bad, I got sunburned AWFUL before when I was on vacation, and I got a lot of 'are you okays?' too! Haha :)

    xoxo aly

  18. I am *dying* right now. This is just too good. Bad, but good. You know what I mean.

  19. You wouldn't get burned in Georgia....just sayin' ;)

  20. Ouch! I hope your redness faded a bit by the time you headed off to work this morning.

  21. you are brave, my friend, to head out being beet red. *clap clap clap*
    slap that aloe cream all over!

  22. You are my favorite. Let's go to a sketchy house party in SF when I come visit. And I promise I won't hit on VDizz, cuz duhhhh I'm engaged.

  23. This is the funniest thing I've read all week! I HATE getting raccoon face. It's the worst.



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