Today, I'm going to talk about relationships. Well, my relationship, to be specific.
For the first year of The Dizzle's and my "courtship," I can truthfully tell you that it was basically rainbows and butterflies 99% of the time. I mean, it's not like we were the couple that practically made babies in public or anything, but yeah, easy breezy. And yeah, sure, there were the occasional "talks" that weren't always filled with hugs and kisses, but, in a nutshell, we just didn't fight or argue. We just weren't those people.
I can think of maybe one "serious" conversation that happened around the 6 month mark that involved discussing the difference between saying "I love you" and "I'm in love with you." To me, it was one in the same. To him, so I learned that night, was not.
Tears ensued, I was your typical emotional girl filled with insecurities, blah blah blah. But the next day, we talked it through, worked it out, and came out even stronger.
During the next year of our relationship, I can pretty much say the same. We never had the kind of relationship where we would raise our voices at each other. If one of us was feeling particularly sensitive about something, we'd talk about it until we felt better. We've always been pretty good about listening and hearing what the other needs to say.
For the entire 6 months of traveling the world together and being around one another 24/7, I can tell you that it definitely made us stronger as a couple. But again, everything was pretty much fine and dandy with one another. I can think of one instance in Rome where again, I brought up our relationship and "our future", and when I didn't hear exactly what I was hoping to hear, things went downhill quickly.
Alcohol-infused tears ensued, I was being your typical emotional girl filled with insecurities, blah blah blah. But the next day, we talked it through, worked it out, and came out even stronger.
So there you have it. In the first two years of our relationship, things really have been pretty amazing, even-keeled, and compatible. It was almost unreal to me, because trust me, in all other relationships I've been in, it was definitely not like that. Ooooh boy, was it not.
But anyway, let's talk about year two, which just officially started as of July 3rd, this month. By no means is anything "terrible," as the title of this post may suggest. But I will say that there have definitely been more "scuffles" in this past month than I can remember ever happening before. Nothing outrageous or life-changing, but enough to make me sit back and think, "What the hell is going on with us?" For example, yesterday was the first day in our entire 2-year relationship where I felt the need to attempt the silent treatment. The silent treatment?! What am I, 16 again? And let me just tell you, attempting the silent treatment in a tiny ass studio is not very easy. There's nowhere to go! I'm sitting on the bed, and he's 10 feet away at the kitchen table. I mean, how long can you really hold that up?
Part of me wonders if this is just something that happens around the 2 year mark? Maybe you start getting more comfortable and stop putting on your best behavior all the time?
Part of me wonders if it's just an adjustment period that comes along with moving in together for the first time?
Part of me wonders if it's just an adjustment period. Period. I mean, come on, there we were, having the time of our lives, traveling the world. So of course, what the heck do we have to fight about? We're in paradise, for crying out loud! Then, that time of our life ended. Then, we came back to the "real world" and had to get grown-up jobs and pay the rent and bills and have responsibilities instead of frolicking, hand-in-hand, on a beach every day.
Point is: I absolutely think it's true what they say. Relationships take work. This morning (or was it last night?), The Dizz and I were laying on the bed (because we still don't have that stupid couch), talking, and I told him that. I said, relationships take work. I don't care how amazing or healthy the relationship is, it's going to take time, effort, patience, and work.
But I think that's a good thing.
It's when someone gives up and doesn't want to work anymore that I think raises a red flag...
So. With that said. If there's anyone in this world that I want to put in the work with, well, that's just a no-brainer, right there. ;)
Love you, Boo. You da best. Seriously. Thanks for being so patient with me. :)