Thursday, June 20, 2013

Sometimes you just have to lie.

So I'm kind of loving this Vine App thing. But that's beside the point.

**Update: Within an hour of posting, I found out Instagram came out with their video feature....soooo....

Point is.

I'm sitting here, in my NEW bed that was built with my OWN hands, feeling tired and happy.
My fingers are still cramped, swollen, and sore from spending THREE HOURS trying to decipher Ikea's picture instructions.
Did you know that about Ikea? 
They do not use a single word in their instruction manual (that just so happens to look like a small Bible). 
Instead, they have 27 different pictures of what screw goes in to what hole and what board sits on what thingamajig.

But guess what? I did it. Oh yes I did.

You can just call me Lumberjack Michelle, if you'd like.

Want to know what else I did yesterday?

I lied.

I flat. out. lied.

But here's the thing, I must preface this by saying that I really try my best to be honest and upfront with people (especially with those close to me). And I do believe that if we can just be honest with each other and ourselves, things usually work out for the better.

Except yesterday. Yesterday, a lie was necessary.

Allow me to explain.

When The Dizzle and I first got to our new place, we did a quick walk-thru and checking of things. When we got to the stove, we couldn't turn it on. The gas wasn't coming out and we couldn't figure out how to make it work.

So we called PG&E and explained the situation, thinking it'd be no big deal and they'd send someone out that day to fix it.


The lady on the phone said they couldn't send someone until TUESDAY.


We don't even have a microwave, woman. What the heck are we supposed to eat? I had a fridge full of food that required heat!

So I said, "Is it possible to get someone today?"

She said, "No, ma'am."

So then I said, "What if this was an emergency? Wouldn't you send someone immediately?"

Then she said, "Well, is it an emergency?"

"No. But couldn't I just call back and say that?"

"We don't advise that, ma'am."

"Oh, okay. Well, then Tuesday it is. Thank you."


I don't know what came over me just then, but the evil little angel on my left shoulder must have whispered in my ear to call them back and lie. Because that's exactly what happened.

We told them we thought we could smell gas in our apartment!

And you know what they did? Better believe they sent someone out!

Want to know what the PG&E guy said the minute he came in and inspected the stove?

"You didn't smell any gas. Your gas is OFF."

That's when my floundering ensued. "Uhhh... well....I thought I did? And well, we opened the windows? And I think it aired it out? And I just get paranoid sometimes? So sorry....?"

So yeah, pretty sure he either thought we were complete idiots who didn't know how to determine the smell of gas, OR that we were complete liars. (I'm thinking the second.)

Annnyyywaaayyyy - - - I lied, okay?!
But it worked.
And the stove turned on.
And I made spaghetti.
And it was glorious.

I'm not extremely proud of my lying, but in my defense, the guy said he had nothing better to do that day so he didn't mind coming out!

Moral of my story? There isn't one.
But sometimes, just sometimes, lying gets shit done.

Annnddd on that note, it's back to the grind for me. We, or should I say Verner, finished painting the kitchen last night after we quickly realized me + dark paint = no bueno (hence why I went to go build the bed).

Today, we are painting the bathroom! Which, again, probably means The Dizzle will be painting as I go and do something less damaging, like hang up our clothes or frolick around, listening to Daft Punk's "Get Lucky" 100 times, like I did yesterday.

Very exciting stuff, I know. ;)


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  1. At least you got your spaghetti :)

  2. Haha! You better use your Asian persuasion ways!

  3. Gurl i lie a lot. Jk. (Ok thats a lie).
    Oooo get lucky is my jam, girl!!

  4. Your lying story reminds me of mine!! As a student at FSU we could print our football game tickets at home or go to the box office and they would print them for you on game day. Well one game day I left my ticket in my car and we had parked FAR away... so I went to the box office and said to the woman "I printed my ticket at home but left in my car, would you please print me another one?" She said, "No, you already have your ticket. We only re-print if they have been lost or damaged. You still have yours and know where it is." Oh it made me so mad! So I said "Hi, I seemed to have lost my ticket, would you print me another?" It ended with the lady calling me lazy and me calling her for being rude and the manager stepping in to print me the flippin' ticket. My blood was boiling the rest of the day AND we lost the game!

  5. Haha I would have done the saaaammmeee thing. The "we cant get anyone til this day" thing is code for "we don't feel like it". I lied to comcast once to prove that they were lying to me, it was good times but I got what I wanted haha

  6. hahahaha this makes me laugh. we submitted a request with SDGE 3 months ago to have them come look at our oven (because i did smell gas) and no one has showed up yet.

  7. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do! He, he!!

  8. Haha gurrrlll, it's so true! I can appreciate, I would have done it too!

  9. The lie was worth it and you are a bed-making-badass. THAT is the moral of the story.

  10. I've lied about smelling gas a few times to get service. Our new water heater was so complicated to turn on, I couldn't do it myself without worrying I would blow myself up. In my defense when pg&e installed my smart meter pg&e caused a gas leek so I felt like it was payback for the hassle they caused me

  11. Oh my god, Ikea beds ARE THE WORST! I, however, did not put mine together but instead chose to bribe my husband + 2 friends to put it together in exchange for beer and pizza. They swear that when we move, I'm on my own. And as someone who works in property management, let me just say - I would have lied too. So boom. ;)

  12. hahaa hey, a renters gotta do what a renters gotta do!

    btw, LOVE the bed you picked!! can't wait to see your apartment pics :)

  13. LOL good job girlfriend. Good food should no go to waste due to gas company laziness.

  14. Moving in to a new place is always so much fun! And if this is what happens when you lie, lie your little ass off!

  15. ikea building is the worst ever. have you ever done a dresser or anything with drawers? ahh it takes a million years. so good work. and nice with the lying ha. though the woman on the phone was apparently lying too since the guy wasn't even busy!
    -- jackie @ jade and oak

  16. I would've done the same thing.
    If I had spaghetti waiting to be made, there's no WAY I would wait even one day for that!



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