Thursday, June 6, 2013

Hypothetically Speaking...

I know yesterday's post proved greatly how much I enjoy my dranks and several of you concurred that it's greatly enjoyed by a lot of people and that doctors must be straight up trippin' with their 7 drinks/WEEK lecture.

BUT.

Let's just crunch some numbers for a second. You know, just for fun on your Thursday morning. Because, I don't know about you, but I LOVE me some math first thing in the morning. #asianproblems #totallykidding

Anyway.

Let's say I drink 5 days a week. (Sometimes it's 3, sometimes, it's 4, sometimes it's 7. So we'll do a rough average here.)

I drink 99% red wine, so we'll go with that in this hypothetical talk.

Let's say I drink about 4 glasses of red wine, on average, at each sitting. (Again, sometimes it's 3, sometimes it's 6. We'll go with a sturdy 4.)

Let's say one 750ml bottle of red wine (which is roughly 4 glasses) is 635 calories.

(I have Googled these facts, so just assume I'm correct in my analysis).

Now: Math time.

635 calories x 5 days a week = 3175 calories per week in alcohol consumption

3175 calories per week x 4 weeks = 12,700 calories per month in alcohol consumption

Holy crap. Mind you, this is the first time I'm really thinking about this and I'm literally doing these calculations as I'm typing this. So allow me a few moments to wrap my mind around these numbers.



Okay. Deep breath.

Now. We all know that 3500 calories = 1 pound of fat.

Which means, that if I were to just sit on my butt, all month long, and not burn any of those alcohol calories, then I could potentially gain:

12,700/3500 = 3.63 pounds of fat per month 

Which is about 43.56 pounds in one YEAR due to alcohol consumption!

Now, obviously, I'm not gaining 3.63 pounds every month. But still, I'm certainly not losing any weight each month.

So, with that said, on the flip side.....if I'm wanting to LOSE about 8 pounds from my bod, and I were to cut out alcohol all together (assuming I wouldn't die from detoxing), then in just about 3 months, I could potentially lose:

3 months x 3.63 pounds = 10.89 pounds!

Okay, so now. With this newfound information, do I think I'll realistically cut out all alcohol for the next 3 months in an attempt to lose 10 pounds? Probably not. BUT, knowing this information, it will definitely make me think twice about possibly decreasing the amount I drink each week.

(Also, notice how none of this alcoholic talk has anything to do with my health and heart, but only to do with the poundage and fat on my body. Oh, vanity.)

Alright, that's my public rant.

I'll let you know how it goes. No promises. BUT, for what it's worth, I have not had a drop of alcohol for the last TWO days. Aren't you proud of me? And fine, maybe it was only because of my "issue," and now that I'm feeling better, I can't guarantee anything about tonight, but... I'm on my way?

Maybe?

Anyone with me?

No?

Alright then, cheers, ya lush.

xoxo

P.S. 1 day and 13 hours left, if we're being exact here, to try your luck here!


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19 comments:

  1. Phew! Cut out alcohol completely? I could never do that. But aside from poundage, taking a break drinking would also save you major moolah. I went over what I spent in may the other day... Even tho I'm a thrifty drinker, it still added up to a decent amount of. Ugh ... Why can't I still be an under-age drinker and not have to pay for drinks at the bar???

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  2. I really try hard not to think about the calories in wine. Beer, it's kind of in your face. You'll feel bloated, burp and all that attractiveness that comes with it. Wine is a classier drink (I tell myself), so it's completely fine.

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  3. I like to tell myself that a glass of red wine a day IS good for the heart :) Even if that no longer is "true", I tell myself it is!
    www.olivedoesthecity.com

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  4. What if you had all 7 drinks on one night, thus getting sufficiently sauced up without breaking the rules. I like it...

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  5. Glad you're at least making the effort :) Keep it up, Sweetheart.

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  6. Everytime I want to slim down, the first thing anyone will tell me is to cut back on the drinking. It's horribly depressing. But it does work! Before our wedding, Kevin and I made a rule where we could only only drink two nights a week, and while it was horribly boring, he lost about 10 pounds and I lost 6, in one month, just from that one little change! It's terrible... why can't my beloved vino be calorie free?

    Also - my allergist told me that she thinks I am allergic to sulfites. Which are in wine. I almost started crying right there on the spot.

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  7. The first time I dropped weight without trying was when I cut out alcohol!

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  8. All I have to say to the weight gain due to alcohol that just seems like a crazy amount. COLLEGE. Alcohol and college will come up and bite you in the ass. I have decreased the amount I drank and I could totally tell. But at the same time, I love alcohol. So when I say cut out. I mean skimmed the top of! ;) stay classy

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  9. Good for you to make an effort! I rarely drink (it´s crazy expensive in Norway), but now I´m going on a vacation, and well, a daily glass of white wine while watching the sunset from our balcony will probably be my thing:-P

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  10. smh...no way I can cut alcohol out completely...but I could try to take it down a glass or two! Good luck to ya, my fellow lush!

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  11. HAHA. I do this same this with coca-cola. Like, if I gave it up, I could potentially lose 10 pounds by my wedding. But will that happen? Prob not.

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  12. this is why I was fatter in college when I was drinking one million cups of keg beer. I was going to the gym 5 days a week and couldn't figure out why I was gaining weight. boo to booze math.
    -- jackie @ jade and oak
    -- jewelry giveaway

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  13. Lmao this post is amazing. And lets just pretend you drink for me too since I havent been able to in over 8 months. In a few weeks Ill pick up where I left off and then you dont have to drink double anymore? Thats a good excuse :)

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  14. this is why i lost 7 pounds my first two months of pregnancy. i let everyone believe it was morning sickness, even though i didn't puke once and ate my weight in carbs daily. true story.

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  15. Now the beer I'm drinking doesn't quite taste as good, haha :P But you're completely right!

    -Maria

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  16. ...although it *is* better for your health and heart to cut down, too. ; )

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  17. This post made my liver and scale cry. I put both in the corner for a time out for acting up.

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