This was bound to happen.

I'm feeling gloomy today.
And I knew this would probably happen eventually.
I guess I just didn't expect it to happen less than one week of being back in America.
Last night, I dreamt I was back in Thailand. It was so warm and it felt so good.
And as I'm looking out the kitchen window in Georgia right now, I can't help but get a little teary eyed because all I see are grey clouds in 59 degree weather, thick woods, and a squirrel on a tree.
Which, okay, that squirrel is kind of cute and he's chasing another one up it, so that's making me smile.
But point is, I'm feeling gloomy. And a little sad. And perhaps bored?

I'm trying to stay present.
I'm trying to appreciate every experience.
I'm trying to look forward and get excited for diving back into the "real world."

But I'll tell ya, this is hard man.

And the thing is, we were warned about this.
We were told to be prepared that everyone back home has been doing their daily thing and living their lives just as they were before we left.
We were told to be prepared that after the initial few days of "travel talk," it would then stop.
Because life goes on and it's not about us and people have their own lives to attend to.
So now here I sit, slightly stressed about trying to find a job, slightly worried about finding an apartment, and just wishing more than ever that I could not worry about these things and just be back in Thailand, in our little bungalow a few minutes from the beach, thousands of miles away from these problems.

^^^Hanging out with the sexy old men^^^

But that's not our reality anymore.
Because we're here now.
We chose to do this.
We chose to come back and be near family.
We chose to come back, find jobs, and save more money.
So if this is what I chose, why do I feel so sad about it?
Maybe I'm just having a pity party and need to get it out of my system.

And don't get me wrong, it's not like I feel this way all day, every day.
Moments like these come and go.
Usually when I'm sitting alone, looking at travel pictures.
For the most part, I know this is what we needed to do right now and I'm glad for it.
I think I just need to stay busy and stay focused.
I need to think about what I can be thankful for and change my perspective from stress and worried to excitement.

For example, remember when I said I had that phone interview back when I was in Chiang Mai?
Well, that went really well I think, because now that I'm back in the States, we have another phone chat this Thursday to talk about possible job opportunities.
So that's exciting, right?

Another thing I'm excited and thankful for is that next week, my brother, S-I-L, and new baby niece (who was born just a few days before I left the States last November and haven't seen since) will be coming out here to Georgia to visit.
Also, my sister and B-I-L from Tennessee will be coming down too!
So the whole family will be together again and that's something that doesn't happen very often anymore and we really have the best times when we're all together, so I'm definitely looking forward to that.

And see?
Just like that, I'm starting to feel better.
Can I look out the window and expect to see an elephant or monkey? No.
Can I go get a big plate of chicken Pad Thai for $1.50? No.
Can I hop on a motor bike and head to the crystal clear, bright blue beaches? No.
However, I can run upstairs and hang out with my mom right now, whom I've missed so dearly.
I can waltz over to the kitchen and make pretty much anything I want (or, let's be real here, have V Dizzle make me anything I want).
Speaking of The Dizz - - I've still got my amazing partner in crime to share every emotion with me.
And let me tell you what a comfort it is having someone who knows exactly how you're feeling because chances are, he's feeling it all too.
And let's not forget that I can hop in the car at a moment's notice and head to the glorious Target.
And well, that luxury is just not something you can get anywhere in this world!
And in fact, that's exactly what I'm about to do right now.
Nothing like a little retail therapy, ya heard?

Thanks for listening, friends. You da best.

xoxo