Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Prepare Yourself For This Post.

Because you're about to see a whole lot of vegetation, accompanied with a whole lot of verbiage.
You may be thinking, "Vegetation? Verbiage? Booooooring. NEXT!"
But please allow me to share the tale of our yesterday.
The tale of how we kinda, sorta got lost in the jungles of Phuket.

You see, yesterday was our second to last day here on Phuket,
and we decided to do something different.
We decided to hike.
But hike to where, we did not know.
So we did a little Googling and came across this blogger who shared of this hike from Karon beach up to the infamous "Big Buddha" that sits atop this jungly mountain.
He was even gracious enough to write out step-by-step directions to help you find your way through the jungle and lack of paths.
It was only supposed to take about an hour and a half to get to the top.

Easy enough, yes?

That's what I thought too.

Anyway, we found the little side road as described for where we needed to start.
And off we went, with a bounce in our step!

The directions started off easy enough.
We were told to walk up and up until we came to a blue sign.
So up and up we went. Blue sign? Check!

So far, so good.
We made a left at the sign, as instructed, and went up some more.
Soon enough, the concrete stopped and it was dirt roads.
No biggie, we were on the right path!
Plus, there were some pretty amazing views the higher up we went.
{This is where I now insert some more vegetation photos}

And now here's the part where we got lost.
And coincidentally the part where I lost that bounce in my step.
You see, Mr. Blogger's directions told us to find this "Big tree with roots, then make a right."
Um, what? A "big tree with roots"? Do you realize what we're walking through here, buddy?
There's a big tree with roots in every direction imaginable.

So as we're stumbling along - - I should rephrase that and say as I was stumbling behind The ever-so-strong Dizzle, we happened upon a little Thai man and we said, "Big Buddha?"
And he pointed to the right.
So we went to the right.

And we walked...

And we walked some more...

Then we stumbled upon some little homes...

And I thought, "Hmm, this doesn't seem right..."
So we found a little Thai woman and we said, "Big Buddha?"
And she pointed back towards where we came from.
Meaning: We had been walking 20 minutes in the wrong direction.
So then we were like this:

We turned around and marched our butts back the way we came from, all while I'm huffing and puffing and realizing just how out of shape I am.

After another 45 minutes or so, plus another wrong turn thrown in,
we were now coming to the 2 hour mark, with no finish line in sight.
I feel it necessary to tell you that it was at this time that a mini PMS-induced meltdown occurred.
It was the kind of meltdown, complete with tears, that is completely irrational.
I think I was telling The Dizzle that he was walking too far ahead of me and it wasn't fun anymore because we were lost and we were almost out of water and what little water we did have was too warm and it was so hot out and we didn't know where to go, and...and... (cue tears).

The whole little meltdown only lasted about 60 seconds, I swear.
But man, did I feel like a new woman or what!
What is it about crying (and acting like a 5-year-old) that makes you feel just so. much. better?
Bless The Dizzle's heart for being so patient with the likes of me.


Not a minute after my mini-melt did something catch our eyes!

A little lizard.
Standing there at the same crossroads as us!
And I'll be darned if he didn't lock eyes with me and basically stare deep into my soul.
After a few seconds of this, he turned and trotted north.
And well, we basically took that as a sign from the jungle gods that north must be the way!

So to the north we went!
After another 10 minutes or so, when we were this close to just turning around to head home,
behold! We saw The Big Buddha's head off in the distance!

Hooray, we said!
We were heading the right way!
And whaddya know, the bounce came back to my step.

So off we trotted.
We came across some elephants and got to watch the baby elephant feed his mama some plants.
That made me happy.

Then we came across a monkey.
And we got to watch him eat a chunk of coconut, all alone, while he was chained to the ground.
That made me sad.

But alas, monkey-saving was not on my agenda, and the show was to go on.
So up some more we hiked.
Higher and higher.
My glutes and legs were on fire, I tell you.
Fortunately, the view helped distract me.

We got closer...

And closer...

And I am proud to say that after 3 hours of jungle hiking, wrong-turn-doing, elephant spotting, almost-monkey-saving, and tears from yours truly, we. made. it!

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you....The Big Buddha.
And my, how big he is.

You should know, however, that Mr. Buddha does not like the scandalous hussies.
Because within seconds of arriving, I was promptly covered by a little Thai lady for all of my inappropriate scandalousness.

But oh how the view was so worth the 3-hour journey.

And whaddya know, the hike back down took us less than an hour.
Funny how that works.

By the time we hiked down, soaked in sweat and caked-on dirt, we didn't think twice about heading straight for the water to do this:

And that, my friend, was our jungle adventure.
If you have made it to the end of this post, I am quite amazed and impressed.

I shall bid you adieu now though, because I'm sure you have far more important things to be doing than reading about my shenanigans.
I have to now pack because tomorrow, we are off to Chiang Mai!


P.S. TWO more days for this adorable giveaway!

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  1. I swear, when you're lost the minutes feel so looong! Beautiful photos though, good thing you didn't give up!

  2. Haha! Love that the lady made you cover up! You would think Buddhas don't get much action so a little leg wouldn't hurt anybody lol.

  3. glad you made it through the jungle hike! :-)

  4. Hahha love this story. Your outfit is awesome :)

  5. Hahahahaha!!!! Love the skirt ;)

  6. Your posts are one of my favorite parts of my day! Haha I would have cried with you. :)

  7. I would have been such a cry baby if I had gotten lost like that- in the middle of the jungle no less!! I also would have had a hard time not saving that little monkeyyy!
    I would like to see that little Phuket woman come to America and see some of the tramps running around here. She might die of a heart attack.

  8. I probably would have thrown a little hissy too, I mean, I HATE being lost. But really, who doesn't? Just follow the tree with the big roots....in the jungle! lol.

  9. I loved reading this post and I made it all the way through!! I seriously have had "traveling the world" on my mind ALL DAY!!! And I keep thinking about you and your blog... this may actually turn into reality if I can get my bearings lol I just love reading along!

  10. note to self...don't go to Big Buddah without the dh or someone with a sense of direction (i have none).
    & indeed that is a super scandalous outfit. :D
    poor monkey :(

  11. Chiang Mai! Awesome! Are you following Chelsea's blog at Lost in Travels? She just posted about a tiger park & elephant park they went to. Both are legit, and wonderful to the animals! And those two posts have had me looking up tickets to Chiang Mai for this summer!! You guys should so do it! I mean if you're in to snuggling up with baby tigers... :)

  12. So freaking awesome. And that little Tahi woman was right, you my friend, are a scandelous hussy!

  13. Took you 3 hrs?? Impressed! Glad you made it! Great exploring to be had. Shame on your for your indecency ;). hahahha

  14. You are freaking hilarious! -Jessica L



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