I'm warning you now...

Because I'm willing to bet that if you actually get through reading this blog post, you'll probably end up looking a lot like this:

Anyway, consider yourself warned because here. I. go.

I'm sitting here, drinking straight from a wine bottle we bought last night for $10 at the local food mart.
Why? Because I'm classy like that. But also because I don't trust any cups from this hotel.

Anyway. What. a. day.

Prepare yourself for a very long description of what my day entailed, but don't get your hopes up for any mind-blowing information.

You see, last night we decided that today we would wake up bright and early (10am) and go downstairs to take advantage of the free, yet mediocre, breakfast. Then, after said breakfast, we would get ready and head out to Chinatown for a 5 hour walking tour. It was going to be grand.

So this morning, the alarm went off as planned and we hopped out of bed and trudged downstairs for some cold scrambled eggs and lukewarm coffee. Why, you may be thinking, did we feel that it was necessary to wake up out of our deep sleep for sub par breakfast?
Because I'm cheap like that, people.
And I am not afraid to admit it. $9 saved thank you very much.

Anyway, after our meal, instead of getting ready for Chinatown, like planned, we somehow fell asleep and didn't wake up until 2pm. You'd think we were party animals staying up to all hours of the night with how much we like to sleep in. But nope. Just some old farts, I suppose.

So when we finally got out of the mystery-stained bed and took a shower with the pooper, it was about 4pm. What a fulfilled day we were having already, am I right?

The next thing we did was head out for some lunch. I mean, it had been six hours since our previous meal, we were famished. So where did we go? Did we go find some Malaysian cuisine? No. Instead, we went to The Hard Rock Cafe for a burger and cobb salad, of course. I may be Asian and I may be trying to delve into this new culture of Malaysia, but I will tell you this: I just cannot eat anymore Asian food. I'm maxed out. So let's just say the food for lunch today was heavenly.

Moving on with my highly exciting day.

The mall.

Did you know how much Malaysians love to shop? There are three major malls within a 3 mile radius here. And I'm not talking about any schleppy malls. These are some high-end, baller status malls. They have Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Mui Mui, Juicy Couture, Salvatore Ferragamo, and the list goes on! So today we basically walked around the mall for 5 hours and really dove right in with the rest of Malaysia. For the cultural experience, of course.

Let me tell you. Walking around an 8 story mall like that and not being able to buy anything kind of sucks.

{P.S. I somehow just finished the wine bottle I was drinking and it disappoints me to say we do not have anymore...}

Okay, what was I saying? Are you even still listening? Because I'd be long gone by now if I had to read through this nonsense. Umm...oh right, the mall. So yeah, being on a $50/day budget does not bode well for window shopping. So what did we do next?

We saw Die Hard. Yes, Die Hard. In fact, the official title is, "A Good Day to Die Hard." So, clearly, we ended our evening on a high note. Bruce Willis' performance was both Oscar worthy and admirable. I highly recommend watching it......
{I hope you know me well enough by now to hear the sarcasm in that last sentence.}

Okay, let's see....yeah, I'm still typing over here.

Hmm... Oh! So after the movie, we decided to get food. More food. Always more food.
McDonald's it is.
Saw a man, dressed as a woman, passed out on the sidewalk with his hoo-ha showing (in nude undies).
So that was fun....

And here I am.
Writing about this exhilarating day.
I truly commend you for reading this through.
Actually, no I don't, because now you've probably wasted 7 minutes of your Tuesday. 7 minutes that could have been doing something else, anything else, far more productive.

And this is where I leave you. Your Tuesday can only go up from here.
Off to watch an SNL rerun and eat some M&M's.
Have I told you just how exciting traveling the world can be?

xoxo

P.S. Have you entered for this advertising giveaway of a lifetime yet?!