Thursday, January 10, 2013

A Gecko Nightmare in Thailand.

So let's talk about our current living situation here in Koh Samui, Thailand, shall we?

After nearly 24 hours of traveling from Rome, including 2 layovers, lost luggage {which has now been found, thank zeus}, and 2 xanax, we made it to Thailand.

We immediately slept for 4 hours.

We awoke at 6pm and had the most amazing Pad Thai noodles from a street vendor for $1.75.
Did you hear that? $1.75!

We then watched a movie {Django} and fell back asleep sometime later.

Then. Oooooooh then.

We hear this sound.
This groaning, moaning, very loud sound.
We both shot up in bed and said, "What the $%&* was that?!"
To which, we did not have an answer.
To me, it sounded like the Asian chick from The Grudge, moaning right above our heads.

Anyway. Back to sleep.

We woke up again. Probably around 3am.
Stomachs grumbling.

We decided to say screw you 6-hour-time-difference and get up to make some cup o' noodles. 
{Which were only $.50, btw. Have I mentioned I love Thailand?}

We were fiddling with the microwave, when all of a sudden, a little brown gecko decided to join us for a snack!

I screamed and jumped on the bed.

The little brown gecko clearly got the message that he was not welcomed and scurried up the wall, into the crack above, never to be seen again.


Oooooh, but then.

Now is the time I let you know that I am typing this blog post as I sit atop our kitchen table. 
Because you see, when we got home a mere hour ago after a day filled with fun, laughter, and Mai Tai's, we were greeted by yet another creature.
But this was not your average little brown gecko.
And he looks a little something like this:

Clearly, I could not get a picture of the real thing because I am busy hiding on this kitchen table. But just take my word for it that it is big and that it is right above our headboard.

Now, most women have men in their lives that do not fear creepy crawly creatures.
I am not one of those women.
One thing I have learned about The Dizzle is that he, too, is also afraid of geckos. 

Sooo....I am at a loss for how to get rid of this fellow.
In fact, he has now crawled behind a wall mirror next to the bed!
MY side of the bed.

I Googled {because Google knows all}, and apparently these things are supposed to be our "friends" because they will eat and kill any insects in our home. And in fact, many Thai people "welcome" them in their places of residence.
Eff that! I'll take the bugs.

I wonder if I can master sleeping on the kitchen table, because if not, I fear I will wake up and have to reenact that one scene from The Parent Trap, Lindsay Lohan edition.

Wish me luck.


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  1. That would be enough to send me packing!! I think my husband would be sitting right next to me on that table-he's not so good with the creepy crawlers. Good luck!

  2. Yep...would of left the country. No amount of cheap food is worth that!

  3. Haha! Right, i may have forgot to tell you about that kind of situation!
    You might also see big (and i mean BIIIG!) rats and flying cockroach, But it's all worth it, i promise ;)

    1. oh YES MISH!

      you will see fat ass rats and gigantic flying roaches in South East Asia.
      the good ol' days. gah.

  4. Small green geckos in Taiwan don't bother me too much b/c they stay on the walls and only come out at night, but that orange scaly one is creeping me out!!! Mmmm...pad thai. Please have some papaya salad for me!

  5. HAHA oh my god I would crap my pants. I don't care how scared my man would be, he would get it out or it would be the end of us!

  6. Oh Michelle, your mother definitely did NOT teach you to be squeamish. Buck up and live with it. If it keeps the bugs away....that's a good thing. You know you hate mosquito bites! Count your blessings and make your peace with that creature.

  7. I used to hate when people would tell me that lizards in my house are a good thing. In my eyes, that is not a good thing whether they kill bugs or not. I always felt better about them as long as they weren't in my room. I had a fear of it accidentally falling on me/my bed during the night. Luckily Joe was a good sport about catching them for me and if he wasn't around, I always could rely on the housekeeper.

  8. OMG I thought that photo was the real thing haha! I don't mind lizards in the house (I'm from Florida.... it's kind of inevitable) but a big kahuna massive gecko would probably send me flying!
    (and mouth is also watering for pad thai right now... $1.50... that's sounds amazing!!!)

  9. I went through this in Hawaii... buy some moth balls and scatter them around your place... it seriously works for lizards and other crawly things... it was my saving grace!

  10. Omg that thing is GIANT!! I would have flipped out & ran out of the house haha

  11. how is having one of those in your house good? if that thing can get in, so can a lot of other unwanted creepy things. i think this is the first time during your adventures i haven't been envious. good luck!

  12. That is creepy! Once when we were living in Italy one of those enormous geckos got into our bedroom. Ours was bright orange with black spots. My husband had a brilliant idea. One of us would hold a moving box under the giant monster and one of us would push it into the box with a broom. My husband is terrified of all things reptile or amphibian so guess which job I got? The box!!! The box!!! My ex army hubby gets to push it in the box and I get to hold the box! Lucky for him I love him. I held that box and as soon as it plopped into the box I ran screaming for the door. I chucked the box outside and screamed some more. Perhaps you should try this? I suggest NOT being the box holder lol.

  13. LOL- you're going to probably stop talking to me, hehe, but when I was little I used to catch them! I really wanted a pet- and they were all around our house! But they were the little tiny kind, not those monster sized lizards! EEK! I would be totally scared too! Also, you aren't the only one, Mike is doesn't like bugs/lizards either- I have to be the one to handle those types of situations.

    MMM. Pad Thai...YUM.

  14. First, Pad Thai for under 2 bucks! Well done, lady!

    Second, EW!! Kudos to you for not also peeing your pants.

  15. Did you go to the market near the marina?! I completely forgot to mention that in my email. It has amazing street vendors.

  16. Hahahaha oh my... this is awful, hilarious, and making me wanna squeal just imagining a gecko!!
    But hell, at least you're getting cheap and mmmmmazing noodles while you're at it! I'm sure Thailand is gorge!!

  17. Um, that is not the gecko i had pictured in my head!

    That's a freaking dragon lizard or something... GROSS.

    Here in Hawaii geckos are considered good luck. Well, good luck for everyone but me. I HATE geckos. Those darn things CRAP EVERYWHERE! It's so disgusting. I'd rather them leave the bug killing to me/husband and get the heck out of my house!

    But the pad thai sounds yummy =)

  18. I don't know, maybe I'm just a big weirdo but something about his fat little body and brown specks makes him kinda cute to me. Of course, maybe I'd have a different opinion if he was camping out beside my bed. Do they ever bite/attack people? You could always throw a cage over him and say you now have an "exotic" pet. :)

  19. UM NO! Is all I have to say to that creature. You are far braver than I would be, no way in HECK would I have a sleepover with that little monster!

    1. Also I think the monster gecko looks like the lizard version of the girl from the Grudge. Just sayin'.

  20. Oh my...I have to say, I like geckos, but not giant ones behind my headboard (or the mirror next to it, or anywhere else close to my bed)!

    We have lots of them here in Texas but they are all the little kind. Biggest one I've seen was only 4 inches long.

  21. My boyfriend loves animals; insects and amphibians included...He would have made this thing his best friend and I would have been the third wheel :-(

  22. Haha ok I would have flipped out too!

  23. I wouldn't be sleeping at all. I loved the little tiny ones when I lived in Hawaii, but I've never seen anything that monstrous.

  24. AH, welcome to the tropical South East Asia.

    I grew up with those old buddies of mine. The little gecko, in Indo, we call "cicak". Trivia: if you catch them by the tail, they will detach themselves from it and run away... their tail will grow again thru out time.

    Now the big one, in Indo, is call "Tokek", and they usually let them roam around the residence. It's known that they bring luck/fortune. For me, they bother my sleep because they make super weird noises... and they kill all the mosquitos around.

    But that's when I was a kid. Now, I would probably FLIP THE FUCK OUT.

    fyi, the little ones can jump on you, if they feel like it. True story. My cousin from Americuh (at the time was visiting me in Indo) was peeing on the toilet, when a baby gecko decided to jump on top of her head. Let's say she woke the house.

  25. hahah is that a tokay gecko??! those things bite and lock their jaws... the only way to get them to let go is to drown them in water. i got used to the gecko moaning when i lived in hawaii. we had tokays but they were more of an introduced/invasive species... not common in houses.

  26. I HATE HATE HATE lizards! My husband isn't scared of them, but he doesn't like to touch them. It makes it SUPER inconvenient when I'm trapped by one and he has to run around looking for a tissue or toilet paper. Hope you recover from your gecko scare and they stay away for the rest of your trip!

  27. This happened to me and the hubs in Thailand as well! I never knew geckos chirped! It freaked me right out cause I was trying to go to sleep. We were OK with the little guy in our room though cause they really do get rid of other bugs and I do not want to wake up to a foreign spider on me!! Good luck!

  28. This has officially cured my desire to visit Thailand. hahah. And this post also made my week. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one afraid of lizards or whatever the eff you wanna call em. Gross!!

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