Wednesday, May 30, 2012

My attempt at a juice fast...

So as you know (and if you don't, then where the heck have you been because it's basically the only thing I talk about these days), The Dizzle and I are running our very first marathon
this coming Sunday!

We have been training for the past 6 months; basically living, eating, breathing marathon training.
I am so incredibly ready to be done with this whole thing because I so incredibly dislike running.

Anyway, for as much as I've complained, whined, and cried over the amount of running I've had to do,
I will say that I have thoroughly enjoyed being able to eat literally whatever I want.
Prior to this training, I rarely ever had fast food.
I was pretty on top of my healthy eating.
Oh but now...
McDonald's, In n Out, french fries galore!
Spaghetti, lasagna, garlic bread!
Want to go back for seconds? Sure, why not!
When you're running anywhere from 20-45 miles a week, 
well, it's basically a get out of jail free card every single meal.

However. Now that we're just days from the big day, we kind of had to take a step back and realize that maybe it would have been better on our bodies if we didn't eat so much crap and drink so much alcohol.
I know. Way to wait till the last minute.

So I had the brilliant idea of going on a JUICE CLEANSE.
Just to get rid of the toxins and start our pre-marathon week with a bang, ya feel me?
V Dizz was on board!

Since neither one of us owns a juicer, Jamba Juice was our first stop:
2 shots of mowed lawn wheat grass, please!
Also an Apple 'n Greens for him and a Berry UpBEET for me!
What size? POWER size, of course! Because we're doing a cleanse today and we've got to make sure we get enough nutrients and calories in our system so that we don't get too hungry and crash!

If you couldn't tell, I was pretty pumped up about this cleanse.


And then an hour passed.

The hunger pangs hit me suddenly. I was starving! I begged and pleaded with The Dizzle to feed me for surely I would die.
I must have been pretty convincing because he gave in and we agreed to get a healthy salad.
That could still be considered cleanse worthy, right? Right.
Especially with the globs of blue cheese dressing I consumed, I'm sure.

I think my body was still in survival mode because it wasn't but a mere
2 hours later that I felt the hunger pangs again.
At least that's what I told The Dizz when I saw the frozen yogurt shop.
I promised I would only get plain vanilla and fruit, so as to stick with the cleanse, of course.

By the time we walked the treacherous 3/4 of a mile home,
I could already tell what was going to overcome me.
That ravenous hunger that just can't be reasoned with.
With a fierceness in my eye and possibly a growl in my voice,
I told The Dizzle that I needed to eat and I needed to eat now.
Preferably his spaghetti with ground turkey.
The Dizzle knows that look is not one to mess around with.
Spaghetti was made.
So I happily scarfed down a plate. Okay, fine. I scarfed down two plates.

That night, belly full, we went to go check out those new luxury movie theaters.
You know, the ones with recliner chairs and your own personal waiter to bring you food and goodness throughout the movie.
It was our very first time there, so it would be a shame to have driven 30 miles and not enjoy the full experience that this theater had to offer!

So we got mini corn dogs.
And french fries.
AND a cobb salad. To stick with that know.

Long story long, I have zero will power and I'm fully aware I will probably gain about 20 pounds when this marathon is over because I will definitely not be running anymore and well, after this post, I'm sure we can all agree that me and food have a very tight relationship.


The End.



  1. I also have 0 will power - the moment I tell myself I can't have something is the moment I will never want it more. It is for that reason that I never diet or do cleanses.

  2. I feel you! Food is just something you can't say NO! haha. cute!

    <3 Ronida

  3. haha this is so funny! I'm sooorta training for a half marathon and I've been eating a ton - its going to be hard to stop when i no longer run like a madwoman!

  4. I've started properly marathon training now and I just eat like way more than normal. Which was already a lot. Today alone I've consumed Maccas breakfast (2 McMuffins and 3 hash browns), 2 packets of chips, a hot chocolate, an LCM bar, a king size cherry ripe, 3 helpings of dinner and even though it's 10.30pm here, I'm inevitably going to go and make some pasta.

    I'd like to point out I only ran 4kms today. That does not balance out calorie intake.

    Your ways, ALL of them, have rubbed off on me. Thanks for being so inspiring!

  5. This is so funny, no will power for this girl either! OMG I can't believe your marathon is so fast! Can't wait for the update!

  6. BAHAHAHA! Noooo! Don't do it! Resist, girlfriend! Resist! :-)

    And be careful of those Power Jamba Juices. It's deceiving, because you think it's healthy until you realize how much sugar is in those bad boys!

    And now I want animal style fries and a grilled cheese. And there's no In-N-Out here. Thanks a lot!

  7. I have the same problem! I think as humans, we always want what we can't have, so telling ourselves no obviously backfires most of the time. You crack me up. But, if you're going to run a marathon, good luck!! (You're crazy.) I'm impressed already - eat whatever you want! And, of course, you must have a big, delicious, fatty meal in mind for when you cross the finish line...

  8. I have the same problem! I think as humans, we always want what we can't have, so telling ourselves no obviously backfires most of the time. You crack me up. But, if you're going to run a marathon, good luck!! (You're crazy.) I'm impressed already - eat whatever you want! And, of course, you must have a big, delicious, fatty meal in mind for when you cross the finish line...

  9. HAHAHAHAH don't worry lady! Six days before your marathon your body is preparing and carboloading -- so it's natural YOU'RE STARVING ALL THE TIME.

    It does die down afterwards - promise. (And this is coming from a girl who routinely eats a minimum of TWO desserts at night during training.)

  10. Fat kids gotta stick together. Welcome to the fat kid club. I'm president, you can be vice president.

    I f*cking love food.

  11. Yesssss! I tried to do the "Master Cleanse" once. I last like 12 hours. Then I forced my boyfriend to take me to Outback Steakhouse. Classy.

    I am very jealous of your ability to eat everything you want. And your proximity to In n Out burger. I would eat there everyday if I could.

  12. I made it 3 days on a juice cleanse. It was so hard. So, so hard.

  13. Yum, the food looks amazeballs! I almost passed out of nauseousness after I took a double shot of wheat grass one time...yuck.

    Im running a half marathon this coming Sunday. 'See Jane Run'...have you ran it before? I'll keep you in mind, that you are running twice the distance as me...if I feel like giving up! I hope all the training paid off for you :).


  14. I know JUST how you feel. After I ran my marathon in March I continued to eat like I was running 30 miles a week...not cute! I am just now getting back into the work out and eating right routine.

    ...and your juice clense sounds like the time I tried to do a juice cleanse...TOO HUNGRY!

  15. See... you NEEDED the spaghetti. You need to load up on the carbs before your race. It's not a lack of will power, it's being a good runner. :)

  16. Haha I admire your will power to run that much!! I would be eating anything and everything if I was running that many miles a week too.

  17. In the same way that you gave up on your juice cleanse, i forgot about it. even when you told me about mini corn dogs you'd had. wouldn't a good friend have reminded you that - ummmm, aren't you cleansing?? ;)

  18. Hilarious! How could you possibly think that a tiny shot of wheat grass was gonna sustain your runner's body? You are prolly burning hundreds of calories as you're reading this!! It's awesome that you could eat anything, and the price was 20-45 mil. Dang. Dang. Dang. Congrats! Can't wait to hear how the whole thing goes down this Sun. Will you be snapping photos along the way. Bet u will!

  19. I'm totally going to enable you here. The week before a huge race is not the time to be making drastic changes to your diet, because you want your body to work the best it can... and when you make big diet changes, you see wild swings in energy, stamina, mood... bad times. So next time, maybe try to just eat LOTS of the healthy stuff from the beginning. But for now? Live it up, girl. And eat an In-N-Out burger for me, k? Thanks.

  20. Bahahaha! Valiant effort Mish. Valiant effort indeed. How's day one, post marathon going? I saw the pic with the pizza and AD. Nice plan. Are the limbs mobile?



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