Tuesday, March 6, 2012

I guess it's that time again...


I actually Googled this topic this morning as I was sitting at my desk,
filled with feelings of annoyance and irritation:


Everything is causing a great emotional roller coaster for me over the last day or two.
Please, let me indulge you:

1. I just about had a raging meltdown when it took me 20 minutes to find
parking at V-Dizzle's last night.
To which, I lovingly replaced our "hug and kiss" greeting with a poetic
"I hate your fucking parking" comment paired with a psychotic twitch in my eye.
He obviously should have prepared for my arrival and set out orange traffic cones
to reserve me a parking spot hours in advance. Duh.

2. Everything in last night's Lost episode was making me cry.
Lost, people.
Need I remind you that this show is 8 years old and about creepy island happenings.
Nothing about that should be making me cry.

3. I got upset when V-Dizzle offered to make me breakfast this morning,
and I couldn't decide what I wanted,
so instead I had to go to Bruegger's Bagels.
The nerve of him.

4. I just got off the phone with someone who's name is Gita Gupta.
There's no real point to this one other than to say she just irritated me.

So you can see why maybe I wanted some answers as to why I'm acting like a raging psycho.
Google didn't come up with anything that sufficed,
so of course that just made things worse.

However, I did come across an article titled:
"How do you handle a girl during her period?"
According to a Billy Hill, he says,
"Stay away from her. She's psychotic and legally not responsible for her actions."
It seems this Billy Hill is a smart man.

Anyway.
While I'm having a few moments of normalcy after this rant, 
I feel as though I should take this time to say:

Dearest Verner,
I apologize for my raging bitch ways.
You're pretty awesome for putting up with it and being so patient with me.
When I get that psychotic look in my eye again
and try to make everything your fault because somehow that's the easiest thing to do at the time,
just try to ignore it and remember that that's not the real me.
That's just the crazy girl that will soon die and be gone in a few days.

I love you.

Love,
The Real Michelle (not Crazy Connie)


xoxo




6 comments:

  1. Hahahaha, I can't tell you how hard this post made me laugh. It sounds like crazy Connie could be besties with Charlotte (my inner bitchy pyscho who graces us with her presence every month). A couple of weeks ago she became infuriated when she asked Brandon if he'd like some toast and he declined. How dare he not want toast when I/she so graciously offered. What was wrong with my toast? Total jerk right?

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  2. Is it possible to cycle with people you blog with LOL
    I totally feel you!!!! I have these moments then I have to ask myself when I am calm and over this time of month why I act this way and its totally because of that time of the month. I have found a natural Pill however that is sapost to help with these symptoms. I dont recall the name but as soon as I get home I will tell yeah Maybe that will help control Connie.

    ~ have some ice Cream or a cupcake
    love Vanessa

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  3. At least you're funny when you reflect on your psychotic rage, right?!

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  4. Dude, if blog hilarity is any indication, I'm voting for Crazy Connie more often. She's fuckin' awesome in hindsight as your blog about her.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Do you watch Modern Family? Cuz they call this week Monsterating and it totally fits 100%. one episode all three girls are Monsterating and the dad refers to it as the Evil Trifecta day from hell. Sounds legit.

    ReplyDelete

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