A little bit of this and a little bit of that

Yesterday, I went over to the owner of my company's house that I so graciously agreed to House Sit for, so I could pick up the keys. House sitting begins this Friday. I met his wife and she showed me all around this amazing home. She showed me the few plants that she would like me to water once a week, no biggie. Then she showed me 3 different bird feeders that she wanted me to make sure were full. A little weird seeing as they don't own any birds. I'm feeding birds of nature?? Um..alright, not a problem. Then she shows me the kitchen, and in a very strong, convincing voice, she says, "Anything you see in here, you are welcome to. I don't care if you finish it either." Do you think she was also including the several bottles of alcohol? Because I will gladly finish those if she really wants me to.
Then as I was leaving, she says, "So are you having your boyfriend stay with you?" Um..I had to awkwardly tell her that I do not have said "boyfriend" and it will be Just me...THEN she says, "You're welcome to have friends over as well." Do you think it's okay to have all 500 of my closest Facebook friends over? I think so too.

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I went to the grocery store deli the other day and asked the young boy of about 20 if I could get a half pound of their salmon. He then proceeds to call me "ma'am" for every sentence. Um, I'm sorry. I'm about 4 years older than you, Pal, and you're calling me, "MA'AM?!" Do I look that old to you? Then, as if that wasn't bad enough, he asks me who I'm cooking the salmon for...I stared at him for a second before replying, "Just me..." (Insert awkward silence.)

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The other day, my Dad came over. We were talking about weight loss and how he's been eating healthy and losing weight. He says he's at 18% body fat but wants to be at 15%, blah blah blah. So then I said, "Hey Dad, did you know I've lost about 15 pounds since Christmas?" Then I lift up my shirt so he can see my stomach. I was hoping for some support and excitement, but instead, he reaches over, pinches my stomach and says, "Now you just need to lose this fat. Cut out all the Carbs."
....Gee, thanks Dad.

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Enjoy your Hump Day everybody. Since it's JUST ME and I'm apparently FAT, I'll be busy cooking NON-CARB meals for myself and won't have time to Hump anyone. So for all of you oh-so-in-love-skinny-carb-eating people out there...enjoy a piece of bread for me.


xoxo