Vows

^^CLEARLY, I am the best Photoshopper of all time. And yes, that is my brother dressed as Gandolph, to which I thought would be fitting to portray what our wedding ceremony will look like (don't ask me why).^^

///

So I tried to write my wedding vows last night and basically started crying immediately and had to stop.

There's so much I want to say and yet have such a lack of words all at the same time, does that make sense? I just don't even know where to begin. I'm tempted to Google "How to write your marriage vows."

So, anyway, after about 10 minutes of trying to think of what to write and basically coming up empty handed, I stopped and turned on Friends instead. And GUESS WHAT? The episode (in season 7 to be exact) was the one where Monica and Chandler are TRYING TO WRITE THEIR WEDDING VOWS. I don't know why I'm writing in caps as if there is any significance to this (I'm sure you're giving a blank stare just as Verner gave me when I told him the same thing), but POINT IS: It appears that my lack of free-flowing wedding vows is not all that uncommon, yes?

These are the questions rolling around in my head:

1. How does one even begin to write their vows? Is there an outline I should follow?

2.What if I'm just ugly crying the entire time?

3. How do I ensure that Verner BREAKS DOWN LIKE A LITTLE BABY because he's just SO MOVED by my words? (oh wait, is that not supposed to be the goal?)

4. Do I have to memorize them? (Because something tells me I'll draw a blank if I try to do that.)

5. Is it just a speech of promises, or do I tell him things I love about him?

6. Does anyone else get nervous thinking about standing up in front of lots of people that are just STARING at you?

7. Can someone write them for me? #justkidding #sortof

All you married ladies, feel free to jump in now.

Love,

The Soon To Be Mrs. Dixon 

(in 5 months and 12 days)

11 Days Later

Somehow 11 days have passed since I last blogged, and yet I feel like I just posted yesterday. Seems we're going to have ourselves another year that goes by in the blink of an eye, eh?

Good news: After much procrastination, The Dizzle and I finally sat ourselves down the other night and busted out some wedding details. We have officially booked our flights to Kauai (June 30-July 8!). We have officially booked the nights at the hotel (Grand Hyatt). And we have officially booked our rental car (Thanks HotWire). And after what seemed like a bazillion dollars spent, we also said, "Ah what the hell, YES we'd like to be greeted with two lei's upon arrival at the airport for $30, because it's our wedding week and why the eff not?" So lei'd we will be.

It's crazy to think we have just 5 1/2 months to go. The other morning, when we woke up, The Dizzle grabbed my phone and pulled up our engagement video for us to watch (yes, we still watch that bad boy every now and then). But man, was that really 6 1/2 months ago?

I'm trying not to stress out about anything (keyword: trying), and it's not like there's much TO stress about. I kind of went planning crazy from basically day one and got a lot done. But I will say that when you have a destination wedding, particularly in an insanely expensive place like Kauai, there does come a little bit of.... guilt? When we decided on Kauai (again, like week 2 of being engaged), I guess we just didn't realize quite how much it would all come out to be. And well, now we're in it and this is happening and......I guess I feel a little bad just how much people are spending to be there. Is that normal?

Anyway, I told V Dizz last night that I think I'm going to be the type that just never really LOVES wedding planning. I hear of those women that say they loved every moment of it, but I just don't see HOW. Maybe it's a myth. Like those women who say they LOVE pregnancy. Or LOVE being a stay at home mom to 6 children. Or unicorns.

It's just a whole lot of details and money that no matter how much you try to cut down on costs, it still comes out to a bazillion dollars. A BAZILLION, I say! WHY???? Because they can. "They" being all of the little evil wedding planning people.

Do I sound bitter?

Know that I ALSO said to Verner last night that I'm hesitant to even complain out loud because COME ON. If this isn't a #firstworldproblem I don't know what is. There are by FAR way more things that deserve concern than planning a wedding in KAUAI. Like boo hoo, Michelle, you're getting married on a beautiful island. Stop your bitching, bitch. I get it, I get it.

I will do my best to keep the complaining to a minimum.

I am so so so thankful that this is even happening at all. Really, I am. And I will do my best to enjoy the process. I will also do my best to make sure this man of mine feels appreciated. Because after walking in on him, unprompted, putting together our wedding invitations, it really makes you take a step back, take a deep breath, and not feel so alone and overwhelmed in this. I love you man.

Happy Friday, friends. Thanks for listening to me vent. I heart you too.

See you on the flip side.

xoxo